Following Kanye West's outburst during the acceptance speech of a mind-dribblingly bland country singer at a ceremony about which no-one gives a flying puppy, I would like to call my blog readers to take direct action.
It's time to boycott Kanye West.
That UK#22 single Heard 'Em Say with dog-faced Maroon 5 crooner Adam Levine? Put it in the bin right away. I know you've been listening to it. Stop it.
You know Can't Tell Me Nothing? Remember? It reached #107 in the charts in 2007? Stop listening to that right now. Boycott it. Never listen to it again.
I know as a faithful Fat Roland On Electronica reader, you've been following Kanye's production career with great interest. Well, it's time to do some boycotting. If he's twiddled the knobs, in the bin it goes.
That means no more listening to:
- Mariah Carey;
- Trina and Tamara;
- Jin (that must be the dog from Britain's Got Talent);
- Beanie Sigel;
I know what you're thinking. Is there any music left? Shockingly, I haven't finished.
You should also boycott Roc-A-Fella Records, where he cut his production teeth. That means no more Alicia Keys singles. Hear that Alicia Keys warble trinkling out of your i-pod speakers right now? Stop that. You can cut out Keys, thank you very much.
That'll teach the pound-shop-spectacled one to mangle Daft Punk records. Together, we can bring down the music industry one drunken blog post at a time.
Next week: boycott Timmy Mallett.
Edit: Kanye, um, answers me back here.