Call 2: Silly-haired man found igniting blazes. Has apparent tourettes.
Call 3: Five black Americans arrested for using course language to police officer. Seemed to object to our "badge and mother-effing traffic gun."
Call 5: Scotsman and Liverpudlian caught driving around in an old police car, towing an ice cream van. Cargo included heavy artillery, a list of northern cities and several dead sheep.
Call 6: Eccentric man-child caught breaking and entering before attacking a woman, leaving bloodstains on the carpet. Victim's name is Annie.
Call 7: Australian woman found bludgeoned by river. Rose found in mouth of victim. A wiley Hugo Weaving lookalike was seen fleeing scene.
Call 8: Welshman complaining of theft of sun from heart. Was asked to remove balaclava but refused.
Call 9: Young men in chemical masks found in a hypnotic st-8. Had to activ-8 back-up. Won't stop bloody dancing.
Call 10: Smirking gangsters caught running around robbing banks. Evidence of cartoon-dog-based drug taking.
Call 11: Fight broken up between reptiles and local petty criminals. Eye masks seem colour co-ordinated with Teletubbies. Started doing dance routines. Probably mentally unstable: did not intervene.
Call 808: Report of sample theft by Manchester ravers...
If you want some time to figure some of these out, try to ignore the tags below this post!
*see comments section