Oct 14, 2010

So Greater Music Police have been tweeting every 999 call...

Call 1: Report of murder of deputy sheriff and his immediate superior. One suspect in custody. Keeps asking what rhymes with 'lion'.

Call 2: Silly-haired man found igniting blazes. Has apparent tourettes.

Call 3: Five black Americans arrested for using course language to police officer. Seemed to object to our "badge and mother-effing traffic gun."

Call 4: Four post-punk Londoners Three reggae-pilfering new wavers* arrested impersonating officers of the law. The blondest one waffled about tantric sex: re-arrested for being a gobshite.

Call 5: Scotsman and Liverpudlian caught driving around in an old police car, towing an ice cream van. Cargo included heavy artillery, a list of northern cities and several dead sheep.

Call 6: Eccentric man-child caught breaking and entering before attacking a woman, leaving bloodstains on the carpet. Victim's name is Annie.

Call 7: Australian woman found bludgeoned by river. Rose found in mouth of victim. A wiley Hugo Weaving lookalike was seen fleeing scene.

Call 8: Welshman complaining of theft of sun from heart. Was asked to remove balaclava but refused.

Call 9: Young men in chemical masks found in a hypnotic st-8. Had to activ-8 back-up. Won't stop bloody dancing.

Call 10: Smirking gangsters caught running around robbing banks. Evidence of cartoon-dog-based drug taking.

Call 11: Fight broken up between reptiles and local petty criminals. Eye masks seem colour co-ordinated with Teletubbies. Started doing dance routines. Probably mentally unstable: did not intervene.

Call 808: Report of sample theft by Manchester ravers...

If you want some time to figure some of these out, try to ignore the tags below this post!

*see comments section

7 comments:

9/10ths Full of Penguins said...

'Like' In a facebook sense.

And also in the real world sense...

Fat Roland said...

'Flags for spam' in a Facebook sense.

But not in a real world sense as you don't appear to be holding processed meat.

Fil said...

Oooh, I love a quiz.
Though the tags made it a bit like those school text books with the answers at the back.

JPM said...

I blogged the law, and the law tweeted.....

j said...

re Call 4: Excessive use of wikipedia will make you go blind.... The group is known as one of the most famous three-pieces of the 80s. Just because some guy was in the band for half a week right at the start does not make them four.

Oh and the London reference was a bit of a crimson fish for a band made up of a Geordie, an American and 'the other one'...

sorry to be a misery....

JPM said...

Oh, and is Call 808 the only crime that bites?

Fat Roland said...

Fil - I should have put the tags upside down.

JPM - I was gong to include I Fought The Law but I couldn't think of anything funny.

j - Good point. Can't bloody stand them so I had to Wiki it. I have amended the post appropriately.