Feb 14, 2011

I am downloading the James Blake album


I am downloading the James Blake album.

Digital kilobytes of James Blake are swooshing into my memory like recalled jokes or déjà vu.

James Blake is now sitting inside my machine, next to my Yorkshire holiday photos, discarded Ableton sessions and my Justin Biebpipe love poetry.

Listening to this album will be like a thousand swan feathers brushing my cheek in the breeze from the breath of a million angels.

Pressing play on track one will be like the tentative moment before a teenage kiss, that giddy feeling of nascent love-- oh hold on, the computer's crashed. Let me just press restart.

Sorry about this. It takes a while to reboot. Full of viruses, this thing.

So then. Done anything interesting recently? Oh, here we go. Let me just find the mp3s again.

Oh great, it's lost them. Thanks, computer, you galoofing mess of catastrophic circuitry. You've ruined everything.

I don't want to listen to the James Blake album now. That would be like listening to the wails of whales speared in a bloody sea. Like the last sighs of a cherubim skewered on a cackling devil's pitchfork.

Cocksocks.

Kilobytes of James Blake lie dead in my computer, exhausted sonic sperm on the sidelines of my digital tubes.

8 comments:

Nibs said...

that's funny because I'm listening to it now.

Fat Roland said...

I'm proper plugged into the zeitgeist, me.

Unknown said...

i bought it digitally.. then decided i wanted it on vinyl..

Went to my favourite record shop, bought it and they gave me a free ticket to see him play instore that night.. me and 50 other people

one reason why record shops are still amazing..

Fat Roland said...

That's genuinely amazing.

As a result of your comment, you have won a free ticket to be one of only 50 people allowed to read my blog from now on.

Nibs said...

Haha, I know i'm an arse aren't I, but an arse that had the good sense to buy it on cd from a shop man.

Would be nice on vinyl but was was like £21 I think, (worth it though if you get a gig out of it too)

Unknown said...

I am always up for listening to new music, or music that is new to me. Not heard James Blake before. But I have to say I am enjoying "The Wilhelm Scream". Quite appropriate for just before bed.

Unknown said...

I've won again?!

I'm definitely buying a lottery ticket this weekend..

Fat Roland said...

I would say, peeps, go and buy this album from a proper shop. Support your lovely CD / vinyl shops. Even if the person serving you has the same My Chemical Romance t-shirt they were wearing three years ago.