Apr 1, 2012

Win the chance to live with The Orb forever


It seems an appropriate day to unleash a new competition here on Fat Roland On Electronica: you have the opportunity to become The Orb's lodger for the rest of your life.

Many will remember the Noel Edmonds programme in which a contestant called April First (may need to be a bit more subtle - ed) won a trip to Blackpool with Charles Manson. Well, this is like that but with ambient music and it's permanent.

All you need to do is fool in the comment box below-- WHOOPS! fill in the comment box below (seriously - ed) with your waist size, any possible material allergies you may have such as sackcloth, and whether you'd be amenable to donning a corset for extended periods of time.

Keen observers of my Twitter feed will know I woke up on Friday to find The Orb in my living room doing their French homework. I was a bit confused so I offered them breakfast. They just misbehaved.
"The Orb are now in my garden on tiny bikes trying to do wheelies. They keep falling over. Stick to what you're good at, I keep telling them."
So don't be afraid to instill a little discipline in The Orb towers. This competition, which is definitely a real thing even though it may sound kerrrrrazy to some (what are you trying to achieve here? - ed), could be the best thing that ever happened to them.

Everyone who enters wins! 100% success guaranteed. If you leave a comment, you get to live with The Orb. This is uppermostly true. Very facty. More truth than the word tooth with an r in it.

Enter now! Enter! Enter the competition! Enter. Is this okay or should I keep typing 'enter'? (No and no - ed.)

7 comments:

TimD said...

72, pseudonyms and yes.

jpm said...

is this the Jimmy Cauty era Orb? If not I want my money back....

infusion art said...

Haha thank you, so I'm a winner?

Fat Roland said...

You're all winners. Now kindly descend these steps and stand in the glowing triangle in the middle of the dungeon.

Willis Bangs said...

If I lose weight, will I be measured for a new corset, or will I just have to make do with it being baggy, like a three-week dead Mary Antoinette?

TimD said...

Hang on, I misread. I thought it was Orbital. Can I get a refund?

Fat Roland said...

Woah there horsey, some people are playing fast and loose with the rules.

One corset per person, no swapping, no re-stitching, no "Sunday" corset while your main one's in the wash.

You cannot exchange your band. To compensate, you may want to dress up The Orb as your favourite group (McFly, ABBA, the Birmingham six).