"Now you're just being rude. I'm putting the phone down. Twazmuppet."
2 - You too can hire Fat Roland's chewed vegetables-- er, I mean-- words
"You don't see bunny rabbits chewing up lettuce then snotting out an essay on vegetable distribution."
3 - Ed Sheeran is here to destroy us all
"Ted Shearings? Edge Earring? Bed Sharon?"
4 - Too slow slow, hush hush, three oh three
"Tsssch. Bad blogger."
5 - How does Spotify work? I'm glad you asked
"Howard Donald from Take That."
Futher Fats: see January's most read pieces here.
Futher Fats: see February's most read pieces here.