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My 'Save Takuma Sato!' campaign seems to have paid off.

Midland, the mysterious Russian mafia that have taken over and re-painted the Jordan F1 team, have revealed the hapless Janapese to have signed a contract a month ago. I launched the Save Takuma Sato! campaign 26 days ago. Coincidence, methinkNO!

Midland boss Colin Kolles is nicknamed Chavski because he thinks Burberry looks good and he has the manners of, erm, a chav. He also likes confusing his sporting analogies when talking about F1. He says of the contract: "'The ball is in [Sato's] court. If he wants to sign it, he could be a Midland driver next year - we're waiting to hear."

This is a resounding success for the Save Takuma Sato! campaign. Running this campaign has been a lot of hard work; the past 26 says have consisted of:

- thinking about saving Takuma Sato;
- eating crisps;
- reading articles about Takuma Sato;
- wondering what Japan is like;
- watching Dr Who reruns on UK Gold;
- licking pavements;
- thinking about saving Takuma Sato.

So as you see, I have put tremendous effort into the campaign. Takuma is currently prostituting himself in Hapan for corporate whores (ie doing PR work), whereafter he will go on holiday happy in the knowledge that the campaign continues for as long as crisps are 3 for 2 at my local newsagent.