Theatre Of Pictures: Volume Two

Ah, the smack of willow on fish, the whirr of blade against trunk fur. This is the season for the mammoth-mowing cricket olympics [1920s haddock version]; a true Englishman's sport.

No time for that, however. I have been pottering in the studio with the rest of a collective collectively known under the collective name of Theatre Of Noise. As you know, I promised to keep a picture diary of our podcast, so this second installment follows a first installment, which makes a good deal more sense than mammoth-mowing cricket olympics [1920s haddock version].

>Pointy shoes

So to the first picture we go, with gladdened hearts and pointy shoes. Behold a sixth member of our crew, George. He was our Gmmaz engineer for the day, and is well into his drum 'n' bass, although I've lost his Myspace URL so he doesn't get a nice orange link.



While we're talking technical, here's a photograph of eight subchannels with red faders. They are red because each one of them (a) increases sound levels and (b) launches a nuclear weapon six miles south of Oswestry, which is fine by me because Oswestry is a frozen shithole much in the style of Winnipeg.

>Making horseshoes



You have to know your Venetian Snares albums to get that last sentence. Anyhoo, we were given one big microphone and we had to make a horseshoe around it. After the metalwork had finished, we gathered ourselves into an extended semi-circle. (Keep up now...) It felt just like recording the Archers. I hate the Archers. If you listen to it, stop; it's rubbish.

Here's that microphone, set against a background of soundproof glass, our two-page running order, and an Important Red Marker Pen.

Look at the microphone. Isn't it a nice microphone? The round thing is a pop shield, which automatically converts any music into an insipid synthesis of a Britney hit.

With pop on our mind, it seemed only appropriate to interrupt our podcast - our "popcast", if you will - to indulge in a smidgeon of karaoke, as led by Fil.



>Three legs

Fil took the pictures on this picture diary, although obviously not that one, unless his left arm has a third elbow to enable him to hold a camera from that angle. That's my shoulder on the left. I have just landed upright from a Swedish three legged karaoke flip, which incidentally has only ever been performed successfully by me, the Chuckle Brothers and two former members of Primal Scream, although not at the same time.

I hoped this picture diary of our podcast would be informative and revealing. It's not working out well, is it? Part three, the startling denouement*, coming up soon.

*copyright Nikki French 2007