McFuture Tuckything

FutureEverything does not make sense. The programme is full of things like 'urban friction', 'global data' and things about circuits. I'm the type of person who uses boxing gloves to type so no-one can steal my passwords: this is way too geeky for me.

Which is why I'm going to the FutureEverything conference. I'm going to 'Fat Roland' everything, if 'Fat Roland' is a verb that means to have a drunk, aggressive fat man constantly interrupt a session on the challenges of connectivity in computerised urban iconomical sound environment with bawled phrases such as as "I HAD A COMPUTER ONCE", "TWITTER IS WELL GAY" and "HOW FAR IS IT TO McTUCKY'S?"

I have penned 24 circles in my festival brochure, and I will probably:

(a) attend five of them;
(b) of which three I will leave crying;
(c) of which at least two will result in the calling-in of the fire service, mountain rescue and the Thunderbirds.

Truth is, I bid for my FutureEverything delegate pass at Twestival by donating some money to the excellent Wood Street Mission. So if you want a few blog updates on the FutureEverything conference from a vaguely appreciative but mostly overwhelmed non-geek, this is the place to be.

But seriously, are we near McTucky's, because I'm starving...