Every six seconds, someone asks "recommend me some music, Fats" and I'm all like "get out of my treehouse" and they're all like "give us our trousers back then" and then we play Ludo for a bit and cry.
As a way of dealing with these music queries, I've been posting music on Facebook. Almost once a day for the past two weeks, I've plonked a great track from 2015. It started with a friend tagging me and I thought, hey, why not. You can see those posts by jumping onto the Facebook tag #Fats2015. I'll keep posting most days until I get bored or I forget.
By the way, I only accept Facebook friend requests if we have a decent number of mutual friends. My Facebook friendship is an exclusive club. Not like this blog, where I'll accept the company of anyone. Low standards, here. I'm like Jesus sitting with the tax collectors and riff raff. In fact, if you can call me "Jesus" from now on, I'd appreciate it.
"Recommend me some music, Fats."
"Who?"
"Sorry. Recommend me some music, Jesus."
[Throws Facebook tag in their stupid face.]
Glad to help.
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Nov 21, 2015
Nov 13, 2015
Happy birthday, my blog
The Fat Roland blog is 11 years old today. It's finally in secondary school. It's wandering along endless corridors looking for double-maths. Happy birthday, my blog.
The three most popular subjects in the history of this site, whether it was called Fat Roland On Electronica or Netloafer or Fat Roland's Oozy Bleeps or whatever, are:
> Anything about Aphex Twin. Does he have a new album? Where's the new album? What is an album? Why do my trousers hurt? Click here to read more about Aphex Twin. Of the 900+ subjects listed in the menu below, this has been the biggie. Maybe not so much now he's deluging the net with material.
> The time an Autechre album got leaked on my blog. That was a bit weird. The whole internet came looking for it. "Hey, mate, you seen the new Ae album?" "Yeah, out the back, mate." [holds door open] Click here to see the leak (go to the comments) (please pay money for music, thanks).
> The best-album lists in the fag ends of each year. Click here for the best albums of 2014 - but there are others, going back to 2009. I'm already working on this year's list. I have a longlist of 104 albums. My ears are hanging off my face like wrong spittle.
I look at the internet and I think "if there was only a way to easily have a conversation online". Blogging allows this conversation to happen. Blogs, a word which is short for "web logs", are the future and-- wait, hold on, the phone's ringing.
Hello? Yes, speaking? Sorry, what? Twit-what? No I've not heard of a "Face book". Does it have actual faces? Hello? Hello? Are you there? Don't hang up. You're the first person I've spoken to for 11 years. It's so... quiet here. I'm cold. Hug me. Please. Just for a while. What? Yes, I'll hold.
Nov 5, 2015
My voice is all over a podcast and a radio show
I'm on the End Of All Things podcast talking about the literature scene in Manchester. We talked about some pretty good topics like diversity on open mic stages. We also talked about loads of boring stuff that got cut from the final edit. The other interviewee you hear is Nija Dalal-Small, radio producer and host of In The Dark and The Real Story (both excellent).
I'm kind of hoping Rob Cutforth, the apocalypse-minded writer host, got mixed up and kept all the boring stuff by mistake. There's only one way to find out. Have a listen here or on Soundcloud here.
Evidently, the renowned Salford poetry night, host their own radio show, and I popped up on that a few weeks ago as one half of Bad Language. Have a listen here. I can't remember what we talked about. Stuff. Things. I really enjoyed it, whatever it was.
Do check out the other podcasts / shows they've got. Lovely people, all of 'em.
I get dead serious in both of these broadcasts. I surprised myself. Apparently I have depths. I'd quite like to do something stupid now. If you want me to appear in something stupid, let me know.