No wonder rave happened when you had children's TV programmes like Tales From Fat Tulip's Garden.
I barely remember the programme, broadcast in the 1980s, but I was reminded of its existence in a Richard Herring interview with Sir Tony Robinson. Yeah, he's a Sir now.
Have a listen to the theme tune below, which bubbles up repeatedly throughout each episode as Robinson bounces around the garden. I'd listen to an album of this gloopy, acidic techno. It feels like sonic mulch, all squidgy and satisfying underfoot. The music's producer Kevin Stoney calls it "squelchy" and he's not wrong. I'd like this kind of squelchy life.
It makes me wonder: I'm pretty jealous of 1980s musicians who had all this new gear to play with. There must have been more that went in a techno direction like this. How many other children's programmes in the 80s were infesting the minds of future clubbers?
And if they had gone in a more traditional direction, would we all have been line-dancing in the Hacienda instead?