My computer died. Again. It was inevitable - I'd been "downloading" spray cheese into its portals for eight years.
Before I took it to the PC place to get it either cremated or resurrected as some kind of blue-screen zombie, I opened it up to hoover out the inside. This is what I found.
> Dust.
> Rust.
> Musk.
> Clippings, various types.
> A skellington (not pictured).
> Steve Brookstein (pictured), despite the restraining order.
> A small commune of reasonably successful dog walkers.
> The momentary tension between smugness and embarrassment when a friend spots you browsing creative writing books in the local library.
> Sixteen black holes, one of which may just be a big spider.
> The A56.
> Spray cheese. To be honest, this one wasn't a surprise.