Tell me why I do like Mondays

Does anyone else feel bright and shiny on Monday mornings?

I’m so cheery on Monday morning, it’s annoying. I like the fresh sheets of a newly-made week. It’s like a tiny New Year’s Day, and you can fill your pocket with baby resolutions. Amazing!

There are legions of coffee drinkers who can't function until their second morning cuppa. I see them everywhere, gormlessly slurping, eyes drooping like Dali's clocks. They need that sweet fix of squid ink and creosote, or whatever it is they put in that Starbuck’s gloop.

I don't drink coffee, so I look down on them with disgust, what with me being perfect with no bad habits at all. My natural caffeine kick is simply the new day itself. "Lovely morning!" I yell as I skip merrily past bed-haired commuters weeping into their Metro newspapers.

I've never held a 'standard' office job where I input data by smashing a keyboard with my face until the clock strikes five. So I’ve never internalised that Monday-to-Friday routine. Yes, my past jobs of journalism and bookselling involved offices, but it's not the same. Dolly Parton wouldn’t recognise any “takin' and no givin'” in my 9–5, no ma’am.

The buzzy feeling I get at the start of the week is the same sparkly energy I get from discovering new music. The thrill of something not experienced before, the thrum of possibilities. The reason why this blog exists. I am the exact opposite of YouTube comment drones who complain about there being no good music since 1982.

All this might make me sound easily pleased, like a Mrs Brown's Boys fan or a dog. I am. I totally am. Is this annoying to a lot of people? Yes it is. It totally is.

On the flip side, by Friday all of my tiny resolutions lie smashed on the floor as the weight of the week brings me to my knees, my freshly-made week sheets all stained with drizzles of disappointment.

But hey. Let’s save that for another blog post, yeah? Monday! Woo!

Further Fats: My Harder Better Blog Writing Tour Faster Process Monday Fats (2014)

Further Fats: Listen: Photay's Monday (warning: potential earworm) (2016)