Teapots

Teapots.

That's it. That's the blog post. Just the word 'teapots'. Thanks for reading.

Issue 64 of Electronic Sound magazine is all about John Foxx (not actual fox) And The Maths (not actual maths), but the most important bit, as ever, is the inside back page. On this page, you will find my regular Banging On column (not actual column).

This month's rant is about how to have a number one hit single, inspired by the KLF's legendary Manual. The best sentence is "if I had a beard like that, my trouser topiary would be on the front page of National Geographic", but don't take my word for it. Order the issue 64 print edition here, or upgrade to the version with the vinyl if you're feeling fancy.

I got to illustrate my column again this month, but instead of an illustration, I just took a photograph of Kraftwerk with a load of teapots (see above). What? Yes, it's an actual photograph. It only looks like a cartoon because of the photo realism.

The picture is relevant to the content of the column, honest. Not that I know much about teapots. I've never owned one. I had some builders in once, so bought a box of teabags, the only tea bags I've ever bought. I used two teabags nervously making tea for the builders and let the rest of the box go past its use-by date. Tea is horrible, and I'd rather drink healthy stuff like Pepsi, Blue Nun or Toilet Duck.

I probably shouldn't title this blog post "Teapots". It'll kill any Google ranking. And one thing I've learnt from fifteen and a half years of blogging is how to get hits by doing a words good proper. Is writing about tea popular on the internet? Do people google 'tea'? If I keep mentioning tea, will people arrive on this blog post looking for information about tea?

Anyway, that's the blog post (not actual post). Thanks for reading.

Further Fats: Tick tick tick tick bleep (2012 – the first Electronic Sound)

Further Fats: Why did the Fat Roland cross the road? (2017 – contains a tea drinker)