Fats & 'Fresh 4: rivers of desolation always start with little pools of disappointment

The shattered remnants of radio shows crumbled off the broken window of time onto the floor of history, forever to be a painful trodden-on memory for the denuded soles of the future.

In other words, it has come to an end. The rest of the programmes went off without a hitch. Read about previous radio experiences here, here, here and even here.

We all suffered a second-week sap as our energy levels seems to drain into little pools around our aching feet. It could just be that I had wet myself again. But we ended on a high, and unlike my Greenbelt FM experience last year, I didn't become a quivering wreck of illness.

Podcasts of my shows with Lee are available on this page. Look for The Quite Early Show (that's the baby we are proudest of) and some of the Wind Downs and Late Breakfast Shows.

So thanks to all those at Refresh FM that made the previous two weeks possible. You are all gorgeous fluffy bunnies, which is a nice co-incidence because you all have cotton-ball tails and you all mate like there's no tomorrow.

Did I just say that out loud?

I'm sorry. Just to keep the lawyers happy, no-one at Refresh FM has a cotton-ball tail and no-one mates. Ever.

Next on my calendar is a jolly down to Nottingham to meet the good people of Greenbelt FM to discuss my multi-million pound contract to present their lunchtime show. Sadly, I think that's pounds of fat rather than currency.

Greenbelt FM: So we'll give you 10 million pounds to do the show.

Me: That's brilliant.

Greenbelt FM: Starting with this.

(Greenbelf FM pushes a pork pie across the desk.)

Me: What?

Greenbelt FM: Nathan! Marjorie! Wheel in the skip of lard!

Me (muffled): I want to go home now.

Greenbelt FM: I'm not sure if that's an upset voice or a voice with its mouth full. It had better be the latter, bitch, otherwise the deal's off.