Apr 3, 2007

Fats & 'Fresh 2: All planning and no Eddie-oodles makes Fats a dull boy

The chart show was as successful as a heavily armed bull in a china shop, which you could say is quite successful indeed if only for the fact I deliberately played a dire classical version of dire worship song Shine Jesus Shine without any hint of irony.

It was also a whole bunch of hard work, and after spending the rest of the day planning other shows, I made the fatal mistake of setting up my new DVD player (thanks for the gift, Pam) and watching oodles of Eddie Izzard instead of sleeping.

On Monday morning, I presented Refresh FM's Late Breakfast show with a friend called Caz. Considering she hadn't even dipped her toe in radio before, Caz took to the airwaves like, well, radio.

(Bad simile, sorry. I should have mentioned something that swims to follow on from the 'dipped her toe' image, but then I would have likened Caz to a graceful sealion, and one thing Caz is not is a sealion.)

I really enjoyed working with Caz. It was only brought down a notch when someone complained because I had the nerve to suggest that Cosimo Cavallaro's My Sweet Lord was (a) a clever statement on the commercialisation and trivialisation of Christianity and (b) a subtle metaphor for consuming the body of Christ through the sacrament.

It seems that if you don't side with the bigotted Christian 'majority', then there's something wrong with you.

If you're the one who complained, then please deal with this: homosexuality is fine in the eyes of God; Christians don't have an exclusive claim to heaven; a lot of the Bible simply isn't true, it's just poetic metaphor and storytelling.

There, that should get the phones ringing. If you want to argue with me, I'm happy to talk about David and Jonathan, Mahatma Ghandi and the Creation story respectively.

You can tell I'm annoyed, can't you?

Actually, I'm not annoyed now, but these are some of the thoughts that were spinning round my head earlier on today. Then I realised that "evangelical-baiting" isn't very Christian and is better left to the likes of Religious Freaks.

After more plan, plan, plan, I reeled off another presenting slot, from which I have just returnified. This time it was the Quite Early Show with Lee, which involved a bastardised Pictionary game called Sin Lose Or Draw, and a bastardised Call My Bluff game called Diagnosticate My Braggadocio.

You don't get sued if you change the name, says my lawyer.

I've already printed my schedule on a previous post, but just in case you left your memory at the post office, I'll see you on Tuesday night at 9pm then Wednesday morning at 9am on Refresh 87.7FM.

And I don't have a lawyer.

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