Come and see me DJ on June 8th instead of wasting your money on a creatively bankrupt film franchise

I will be joined by Kid Mingus and Lypcyl at the next II.

II (Two) is a quarterly free event in the basement of the Northern Quarter's trendy Cord bar, just off Tib Street.

I'll will be playing tweeting birds and sit-down acid mayhem. Joining me will be Kid Mingus and Volume star Lypcyl. A spectacular visual show of basement proportions will be provided by Fil and Kol.

II takes place on Wednesday June 8th at Cord from 8pm, and it is totally, irrefutably and unegregiously free.

If you intend to see Star Wars instead of coming to II, please read this review first. You don't have to see it. It's not compulsory. In fact, it will be a devastating waste of money and you will die two hours earlier than you would have done if you go and see this creatively bankrupt excuse of a film.

Tay-tay-tay-tay-t-t-t-t-t-tay-tay...

Oh yes, it was just meant to be a quick drink with Kol & Dudie...

(Respectable rating: 9.5)

...but then came the fateful decision to abscond from Manto's, thanks in no small part to the bar having all the atmosphere of a puddle.

(Respectable rating: 8.4)

Bar-hopping on Canal Street is addictive; once you hop, you can't stop. So Via Fossa it was. I caught up another brace of chums - Rob and Howard, two people I have known since before Mel & Kim were in. We spent our evening talking about politics, suspiciously amiable Indian guys trying to chat me up ("My name is Gudpa, do you want a lager?") and the amusing Eddie Izzard lookalike we saw near the bar.

(Respectable rating: 6.5)

A quick stop via McTucky's, then off to Eden across the canal for more drinks with Kol & Dudie. The trannie DJ was bad, the music even worse, but hey the drink was nice, the company lovely, the eye candy was eye candy, and the tables were... well, just waiting to be danced upon.



(Respectable rating: 0.1)

I ain't never gonna be respectable.