Here is the latest pop chart, apparently

I've just checked the latest pop chart now that streaming counts towards its figures. I'm not sure I like it.

Here's the current top ten.

1 - The sound of you and your wheezing breath captured by your laptop's watching camera.

2 - A mysterious operative in a curtained room reading your Yahoo spam emails and chucking quietly. His name is Muriel.

3 - The flat tap-tap-tap of mouse clicks. When you look at the shadows, the clicks stop.

4 - Echoing through Westminster, the joyful slap of high-fives and glass clinks - then urgent shushing when someone approaches.

5 - The plastic rustle of the actual tarpaulin the government uses in its cover-ups.

6 - Julian Assange weeping his way through I Did It My Way then powering his way through six packs of Pringles.

7 - The wet, crusty bubbling of Eric Pickles' widening smile.

8 - The slow grind of history repeating itself and repeating itself and...

9 - The sound of the computer that auto-generates Calvin Harris hits. A mix between a jolly "ping" and the mournful wail of a dying planet.

10 - The brittle splintering of forced satire.

Further Fats: Oh, puppies, why do you live? (2006)

Win the chance to live with The Orb forever

It seems an appropriate day to unleash a new competition here on Fat Roland On Electronica: you have the opportunity to become The Orb's lodger for the rest of your life.

Many will remember the Noel Edmonds programme in which a contestant called April First (may need to be a bit more subtle - ed) won a trip to Blackpool with Charles Manson. Well, this is like that but with ambient music and it's permanent.

All you need to do is fool in the comment box below-- WHOOPS! fill in the comment box below (seriously - ed) with your waist size, any possible material allergies you may have such as sackcloth, and whether you'd be amenable to donning a corset for extended periods of time.

Keen observers of my Twitter feed will know I woke up on Friday to find The Orb in my living room doing their French homework. I was a bit confused so I offered them breakfast. They just misbehaved.

"The Orb are now in my garden on tiny bikes trying to do wheelies. They keep falling over. Stick to what you're good at, I keep telling them."

So don't be afraid to instill a little discipline in The Orb towers. This competition, which is definitely a real thing even though it may sound kerrrrrazy to some (what are you trying to achieve here? - ed), could be the best thing that ever happened to them.

Everyone who enters wins! 100% success guaranteed. If you leave a comment, you get to live with The Orb. This is uppermostly true. Very facty. More truth than the word tooth with an r in it.

Enter now! Enter! Enter the competition! Enter. Is this okay or should I keep typing 'enter'? (No and no - ed.)

Further Fats: Chosen Words - O is for Orbs

My thoughts on Orbital and Pendulum and Scroobius Pip and many others who recorded John Cage's 4'33" in a bid beat X Factor to the Christmas number one spot

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Ardently foul, wet flies: do my angry anagrams, you fart-hole

Stop wasting your miserable life and do something useful for a change, you time-felching twazmuppetty bucket of weeping fart-holes.

Solve my anagrams instead. Here are 20 anagrams of pop stars. Both groups and soloists are included, and they have all spent at least two weeks at number one in the UK singles chart in the last five years. One of them is ostensibly not a musician but got to number one anyway.

If you don't get these, you are either bad at anagrams, or you are so out of touch with pop culture, your stupid computer wears socks and sandals and you can barely read this blog post through your pathetic curtain hair.

I hope this has motivated you to do my wonderful anagram quiz. The answers to the 20 anagrams are in the comments section below, so be wary when scrolling down. You thin streak of nose bile, you.

Oh, just one more thing. Each anagram comes with an essential clue which may, possibly, be motivated by my slight dislike for the artist / group. I'm sure you'll find these clues "helpful".

1 Ace commercial hymn
Clue: This anagram disgusts me so much that every time I see a teenage boy in make-up, I scratch my face with barbed wire.

2 Ardently foul
Clue: I'd rather have a cat in immense pain lodged in my cerebral cortex than listen to this anagram.

3 Censored jam
Clue: The words denominator, lowest and common were invented for this annoying, infuriating anagram who lucked-out with a number one.

4 Dry thy cistern
Clue: Oh, look how trendy and urban this anagram is, let's all be like this anagram. I hope this anagram is savaged by an elephant.

5 Dusty scallops

Clue: Prancy, flouncy, arsey rivers of sniffle: Heat magazine awaits.

6 Fancy jewel
Clue: I'm not sure how this anagram could be more of a public embarrassment. I'm ashamed this anagram is even on my blog.

7 I am t'bland
Clue: Oh let's make every record sound like I did it. Oh look at me. Oh you're punching my nose. Oh it sounds like my records. Oh.

8 I am the inept
Clue: I do listen to this anagram on YouTube from time to time, but only because I HATE MYSELF and want to lose consciousness.

9 Learn dark beaux
Clue: Get off my telly screen, you undeserving piece of rotten knicker fluff. Go play at a children's party some time, but make sure they're baby tigers.

10 Lion weasel
Clue: Lion? Or weasel? Neither. This anagram is a hedgehog six seconds after falling under the tyre of a hearse. Three Xs, now get off the stage.

11 Mister Craphole
Clue: I thought this anagram had gone in the 80s, perhaps walked off a cliff into a valley of infected syringes.

12 Old leper
Clue: I cannot even express-- gnnnngh-- how awful-- gaaaaah-- I mean-- rrrrgggghhfffrt-- aaaaargh-- bleeeugh.

13 Perky, arty
Clue: Best pop sensation ever. I am, of course, lying through my plaque-infected yellowed teeth-holes (each hole, strangely enough, has formed the shape of this "controversial" anagram).

14 Rank, sly garble
Clue: You know if you go to a shop to buy some manure and you get there and there's a massive sign saying SOLD OUT? Fudge you.

15 Riotous bingo
Clue: All you need to do, dear reader, is stop buying this anagram's records. Market forces. Just stop. You didn't buy them, y'know, before, did you?

16 Scornful Gig Riots
Clue: Worst. Ever. Seriously.

17 Sneaking snot

Clue: This anagram is so rubbish, I have a wheelie bin reserved for all its records, a Bob Marley-style graffito of its name on the side of the bin, made from paint and tears.

18 Sweet yank
Clue: A-hahaha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. What a moron. #justsayin

19 Sunbathers
Clue: I once saw this anagram advertised at an Autechre gig. The disparity of, well, everything, still makes me weep.

20 Wet flies
Clue: See anagram.

2paW0r: Answers

Time for the answers to my Warp Records anagram challenge. If you want to have a go, don't spoil it by reading the answers here... jump straight to the quiz and see how many you can get.

Here goes:

1 - Not tiresome seduction (5) was the early Squarepusher album Music Is Rotted One Note.

2 - Hurray! Knobbed! (2) was Donkey Rhubarb, the EP by Aphex Twin.

3 - A bawdy convoy (2) was the Boards Of Canada track Dayvan Cowboy.

4 - Enchant a dull head (2) was Haunted Dancefloor, the Sabres Of Paradise classic.

5 - Shams (1) is the Jackson And His Computer Band album Smash.

6 - Non-established chalk (5) is the Gravenhurst mini-album Black Holes In The Sand.

7 - Sells an ego (2) is the Flying Lotus album Los Angeles.

8 - If sequencer (1) is Frequencies, the LFO album.

9 - Damndest, elite nightshade! (5) is The Ends Against The Middle, the Warp debut by Anti Pop Consortium.


10 - The gormless kid (2) is Smokers Delight, the notable album by Nightmares On Wax.

11 - Is cocky dirt (2) is Tricky Disco, an early classic.

12 - No (1) is On, the single by Aphex Twin. Tough one, that.

13 - Shock OK bet (1) is the Req album Sketchbook.

14 - Charmed tory (4) is, bizarrely, the Squarepusher single My Red Hot Car.

15 - Flaky old ponce (2) is Polyfolk Dance, the EP by Hudson Mohawke.

16 - Hence examined chews huge, inclement nail (5) is the Harmonic 313 album When Machines Exceed Human Intelligence.

17 - Wiser, roughened toxin (3) is One Word Extinguisher, the second album from Prefuse 73.

18 - Daring grunt, no? (2) is the Clark album Turning Dragon.

19 - As critique (1) is Quaristice, the recent album by Autechre.

20 - OK ancient warmth (4), finally, is seminal Forgemasters single Track With No Name.

2paW0r: The Warp Records anagram challenge

Here are 20 releases on Warp Records, all shaken up in a moment of anagram frenzy.

None of them are too obscure, although I reckon a lot of it is difficult (like the music!) and you pretty much need to be "into" your Warp to get them.

They include singles and albums by a variety of artists including Aphex Twin, Squarepusher, Boards Of Canada and more. The numbers in brackets after each anagram indicate the number of words in the answer. Any punctuation you see isn't part of the anagram.

This is in celebration of pants-burstingly exciting Warp20 vote, some details of which can be found on the sidebar of this here website.

For example, for:
- No boring rape? Fine! (3)
the answer would be 'For Beginner Piano', the album by Plone (pictured).

Happy anagramming, and remember, it includes singles too. Pop your guesses in the comments (which should open in a separate window) and I'll 'fess up the answers in a few days. (Edit: Answers here.)

1 - Not tiresome seduction (5)

2 - Hurray! Knobbed! (2)

3 - A bawdy convoy (2)

4 - Enchant a dull head (2)

5 - Shams (1)

6 - Non-established chalk (5)

7 - Sells an ego (2)

8 - If sequencer (1)

9 - Damndest, elite nightshade! (5)

10 - The gormless kid (2)

11 - Is cocky dirt (2)

12 - No (1)

13 - Shock OK bet (1)

14 - Charmed tory (4)

15 - Flaky old ponce (2)

16 - Hence examined chews huge, inclement nail (5)

17 - Wiser, roughened toxin (3)

18 - Daring grunt, no? (2)

19 - As critique (1)

20 - OK ancient warmth (4)

(Answers here.)

Adam's backside causes a rumpus - or should that be a medial rectus?

Adnam's Broadside, affectionately known to the pub's staff as Adam's Backside, was nearly my downfall at the quiz this week.

Still, myself and my co-host 9/10ths managed to grasp onto reality for long enough at our monthly tryst of trivia on Wednesday. He's posted his questions there, and I'm posting mine here.

The typical score on this general knowledge round was about 45%, or eight points, so it isn't a walk in the skate park. Don't let that tempt you into the evil of Googling.

Answers in the comments section please: I will post the proper real answers there in about a week.

1
The invention of which drink reportedly caused its inventor to exclaim: “Come quickly, I am tasting the stars”? (1 point)

2
Do these African countries have a larger or smaller population than the UK? (4 points)
A – Ethiopia
B – Nigeria
C – South Africa
D – Zimbabwe

3
Where in the human body would you find a posterior compartment, a medial rectus muscle and a bulbar sheath? (1 point)

4
Name me the three most common computer passwords in the UK according to PC magazine. Clue: one is a noun, one is a sequence of numbers and one is a sequence of letters. (3 points)

5
Polar bears (2 points)
A – What does Allen’s Rule have to do with polar bears’ legs?
B – What colour is a polar bear’s fur?

6
If you were to see Pegasus carrying the First Lord in modern day Britain, what would you be looking at? (1 point)

7
In a Boots poll of 4,000 adults, what percentage of smokers had kept their habit secret from their parents, even into adulthood? (2 points if you’re spot on, 1 point if you’re within 5%)

8
What is the most popular boy’s name in the UK? Is it: Jack, James or David? (1 point)

9
In what year was the Ford Transit introduced to the UK? (2 points for the correct year, 1 point if you’re a year out)

10
What word connects a US rapper, a flavour abandoned by Coca Cola, a Cameron Crowe film and Obelix’s mother in the Asterix comics? (1 point)

Edit: I've snaffled all the answers into the comments bit of this post, so look there for the solution. If you are posting your own answers, don't look for fear of spoiling probably the most fun you'll have all year.

DEEPER FRIED FAT: PLEASE DIARY

You can take the cinema out of Michael Owen but you can't take Michael Owen out of the cinema, not without force

It's been a while. The last time I posted pub quiz questions on the Fat Roland blog, men were boys, sheep were lambs, and Virgin Pendolinos were loo rolls with jammy dodgers for wheels.

Last night, my bearded cohort Nine Tenths Full Of Penguins and I hosted a quiz in Ye Olde Cock in Manchester, where 'Olde' is pronounced to rhyme with 'mouldy'.

So here are the questions. It's about sport, of which I know little. A brace of questions have been felched from other internetwebsites, but most of it is my own work, miss.

If you reply with answers, I will mark you - no googling please. The real factual answers will materialize in a few days in the comments below this post.

Question one. What’s the perfect score in ten pin bowling? (1 point)

Question two. Let’s play Soccergram! Rearrange the letters of a football personality to find the longest word you can, e.g. from 'Michael Owen', the longest word you can get is 'cinema'. The football personality is: Sven Goran Eriksson. (1 point, plus a bonus point if you can find a nine-letter word)

Question three. The first modern Olympic Games were held in Athens in 1896. How many women competitors were there? (1 point)

Question four. Part one: who was the last Formula One driver to die at a grand prix (whilst driving in practice, qualifying or a race)? Part two: which past or present Formula One driver has a name that contains nine consecutive letters spelling out a London borough? (2 points)

Question five. The exact distance of a marathon please, in miles and yards. (1 point)

Question six. Let’s play Soccergram. Rearrange the letters of a football personality to find the longest word, e.g. from 'Michael Owen', the longest word you can get is 'cinema'. The football personality is: Ruud van Nistelrooy. (1 point, plus a bonus point if you can find a nine-letter word.)

Question seven. Andy Murray is the UK number one singles player. In what is Jamie Murray the UK number one? (1 point)

Question eight, and yes this one was taken from another website. Part one: black is always with blue, red is always partnered by yellow. What is the sport? Part two: throwing stones at houses. What is the sport? (2 points)

Question nine: Rugby Union. Wales vs Fiji on Saturday. What was the score? (1 point)

Question ten: Match these people with their sports. The people: Barry Bonds, Beth Tweddle, Bobby Dazzler, Yesica Bopp. The sports: Baseball, Boxing, Darts, Gymnastics. (1 point for each correct match)

Two little boys had two little toys... (me and Lee doing a pub quiz, then)

I wouldn't want to distract you from buying new pantalons for your date with me on Wednesday, but here is the latest pub quiz news from the world of Fat Roland.

Here's the music round I foisted upon the suffering public this week. Ogle more quizzery at Nine Tenths Full Of Pingpongs.

I'll splat the answers in the comments hole below this post in about a week's time. And no googling, you flips.

Question one. Rolf Harris' Two Little Boys goes like this: "Two little boys had two little toys. Each had a wooden horse. Gaily they played each summer's day, warriors both of course. One little chap then had a mishap, broke off his horse's head, wept for his toy then cried with joy as his young playmate said--" What's the next line?

Question two. Which musician’s publicity department was known as the Bilk Marketing Board?

Question three. According to his old nickname, what vegetable does Bronski Beat star Jimmy Somerville look like?

Question four. Name the four principal members of the Goons. (Only a music question because the first single I ever owned was by them.)

Question five. So then, Cyndi Lauper. Cyndi is partially from Lucinda, but what does Lucinda mean? (a) Bringer of light; (b) Physician; (c) All-seeing.

Question six. Kylie Minogue likened it to being hit by a nuclear bomb. What was she talking about?

Question seven. Avril Lavigne had a hit about a "skater boy". Spell her his single correctly.

Question eight. Name the men with the surname Stewart that had a hit with the following singles. (a) Donald Where’s Your Troosers; (b) There Must Be An Angel Playing With Your Heart; (c) You Can Make Me Dance Sing Or Anything (Even Take The Dog For A Walk, Mend A Fuse, Fold Away The Ironing Board, Or Any Other Domestic Shortcomings)

Question nine. So, then, Thin Lizzy. Mad Lizzie kept us fit on TV-AM but who was her rival on the BBC? (This is a music quiz, honest. You have to imagine me playing music clips then veering off on a tangent in a comedy stylee.)

Question ten. On Friday June 1, what did anniversary did Beatles fans celebrate?

Question eleven. In terms of their big hit singles, who's the odd one out? Avril Lavigne, Bronski Beat, Cyndi Lauper, Rolf Harris, Thin Lizzy. There may be a clue if you scan over these questions...

Back to planning our date. Were you really thinking of going out in those shoes?

Let's get quizzy - the answers

Well, chafe my trousers and call me Henry, it must be time for the answers to the pub quiz I posted last week.

Q1 The First Commoner of the Land is the Speaker of the House of Commons, a.k.a. Michael Martin

Q2 Tony Blair is the UK politician that has been played (or parodied) by Michael Sheen, Robert Lindsay and David Tennant.

Q3 Paddy Ashdown’s first name is Jeremy, Obviously.

Q4 The Sun prefered to call Paddy Ashdown Paddy Pantsdown in the early 1990s.

Q5 In his own words, Iain Duncan Smith was a quiet man.

Q6 In the 2006 local elections, (b) Independent Kidderminster Hospital and Health Concern ended up with the most councillors out of them, The Christian Peoples Alliance and SALT.

Q7 William Pitt The Younger’s father is called William Pitt The Elder. Minus a thousand brownie points if you got this wrong.

Q8 In no particular order, Simon Hughes, Chris Huhne and Sir Menzies Campbell came first, second and third in the 2006 Liberal Democrat leadership contest. No, not Lembit Biscuit or Mark Oatcake.

Q9 Dennis Skinner called the Minister of Agriculture a "slimy" and a "wart", said the only thing growing in the 1980s were “the lines of coke in front of Boy George and the rest of the Tories”, told the House of Lords to go to hell and called Dr. Owen “a pompous sod” – after which he offered to withdraw the word “pompous”. His infamous nickname is the Beast of Bolsover.

Q10 David Cameron has been an MP for six years.

Q11 David Cameron's constituency is Witney, in Oxfordshireland.

If you got 10, you are Mike Paradinas and you are the foremost genius of electronic music. If you got 9, you are Max Tundra, which makes you a genius, but just not as recognised. If you got 8 or less, you are Adamski, the keyboard wizard.

Let's get quizzy: just when you thought the local elections were over

Lee and I waded through a mire of pedantry and trivia last week in the latest of our pub quizzes.

I'll post the general knowledge quiz in the next couple of weeks. Meanwhile, here is the politics round with some of the more boring questions bitten off and spat out onto the sawdust floor of best-forgotten memories. Answers on the Fat Roland blog in about a week's time.

Oh and before you switch your brain on, you'll notice some Google things around the site. It's just a bit of fun and I'm fascinated to see what links the Google ads throw up.

Speaking of throwing up, quiz until you are sick at Nine Tenths Full Of Penguins.

Wading boots on; here we go:

Q1 Who is the First Commoner of the Land?

Q2 Which UK politician has been played (or parodied) by Michael Sheen, Robert Lindsay and David Tennant?

Q3 What’s Paddy Ashdown’s first name?

Q4 What did The Sun prefer to call Paddy Ashdown in the early 1990s?

Q5 In his own words, what kind of man was Iain Duncan Smith?

Q6 In the 2006 local elections, who ended up with the most councillors out of these three parties: (a) The Christian Peoples Alliance, (b) Independent Kidderminster Hospital and Health Concern, (c) SALT.Independent Kidderminster Hospital and Health Concern

Q7 Name William Pitt The Younger’s father.

Q8 In no particular order, who came first, second and third in the 2006 Liberal Democrat leadership contest?

Q9 He called the Minister of Agriculture a "slimy" and a "wart". He said the only thing growing in the 1980s were “the lines of coke in front of Boy George and the rest of the Tories”. He told the House of Lords to go to hell and he called Dr. Owen “a pompous sod” – after which he offered to withdraw the word “pompous”. Who is this controversial MP and what is his infamous nickname?

Q10 For how long has David Cameron been an MP?

Q11 Name David Cameron's constituency.

Voluptuous John Prescott

Before I wade into the picture diary posts as promised a couple of days ago, are the answers to the quiz I posted last week.

>Answer one

The last time a monarch lived in the palace of Westminster was in the 16th century. Win the crown jewels if you're right.

>Answer two

The names of the comedians featured in Apple Mac’s new adverts are Mitchell and Webb. No, this does not make them cool; it makes them corporate whores who pull the legs of orphan spiders before fashioning the legs into the shape of v-sign just to literally add insult to injury.

>Answer three

The primary characteristic of dopiaza is onions, while rogan josh is tomato.

>Answer four

The waiter on the cruise Anthony Eden took after resigning over Suez was the gorgeous, voluptuous John Prescott.

>Answer five

Here are the Pink Floyd albums in order of release: The Piper At The Gates Of Dawn, The Dark Side Of The Moon, The Wall, The Division Bell. If you got this wrong, you probably thought Division Bell was earlier than it was.

>Answer six

Exploding Snap is from Harry Potter. Cripple Mr Onion is from Discworld. Long Distance Clara was from Pigeon Street. (There was nothing about Long Distance Clara in the question; I just thought it was something you ought to know.)

>Answer seven

If you mix Lala and Po, you get orange. Lala is yellow and Po is red.

>Answer eight

12. Is anyone still reading this?

>Answer nine

You had to name two of the three biggest cities in the EU. Hopefully you chose from London, Berlin or Madrid. Meanwhile, the most burgled country in the EU is dear old Blighty.

>Answer ten

Scooby Doo acquired his name from Frank Sinatra’s Strangers In The Night. In the last verse, the blue-eyed crooner dooby-dooed all over the song. He had to wipe it up afterwards.

>Post-script

I provided these questions for a pub quiz in Wythenshawe last week, and they've just told me it's too hard. I replied that me punching them in the face would be harder and why don't they just shut up.

They punched me in the face.

You live and learn. More quiz nonsense on Lee's blog.

No please diary, don't make me hurt 'em

Last Wednesday, my diary told me it was pub quiz time. Apart from the fact my diary was talking to me, this filled me with thrillation and excitingness because it was finally my time to come up with a general knowledge round.

The audience responded well, with the usual comments of "ooh that's a good question", "where do you get these questions from?" and "clear off, Fat Roland, this is a hick town* and we know what you get up to on Sundays".

So here are the questions for you to ponder over your lunch hour. I will post the answers in one week's time. And remember, if you Google / Wikipedia any of them, I will shove nuts up your nostrils and feed you to squirrels I have just angered by telling them bushy tails are, like, SOOO 1974.

>Question one

When’s the last time a monarch lived in the palace of Westminster? (A century will do.)

>Question two

The names of the comedians featured in Apple Mac’s new adverts are David and Robert. By what name are they more commonly known?

>Question three

What are the primary characteristics (ingredient) of the following types of curries? (a) dopiaza; (b) rogan josh.

>Question four

Anthony Eden took a cruise after his resignation over Suez. Name his cruise ship waiter who later became a political heavyweight in his own right.

>Question five

Put these Pink Floyd albums in order of release: The Dark Side of the Moon; The Division Bell; The Piper at the Gates of Dawn; The Wall.

>Question six

In which fantasy novel series would you find the following card games? (a) Exploding Snap; (b) Cripple Mr Onion.

>Question seven

What colour do you get when you mix Lala and Po?

>Question eight

I have a right angled triangle. If one side is 5 centimetres long and the hypoteneuse is 13 centimetres long, how long is the remaining side?

>Question nine

Can you name two of the three biggest cities in the EU (by population in the city boundary)? And for a bonus point, which is the most burgled country in the EU?

>Question ten

From which song did the cartoon dog Scooby Doo acquire his name? (a) Ella Fitzgerald’s Diga Diga Doo; (b)Frank Sinatra’s Strangers In The Night; or (c) Jungle Book’s Bear Necessities.

For the other rounds in the quiz, you could do worse than to start here.

*I nicked this idea from Sunday's Top Gear

You burden me with your questions, you'd have me tell no lies

As promised to you, my faithful, delicious, succulent reader, here are the answers to the quiz I posted a week ago.

This was just one round of a whole entire pub quiz, so if you want to have a shufty at the other questions in the whole entire pub quiz, hope over to Nine Tenths Full Of Penguins' Quiztastic Volume 1 and Quiztastic Volume 2 posts.

>Answer one

In 2005, upon hearing of a sponsorship deal which would see an HP sauce logo on the brown ball at all major snooker tournaments, it was Jimmy White who announced he had changed his name by deed poll to James Brown, and would wear only brown clothing when competing.

>Answer two

In the 1980s children’s TV series Jimbo, Jimbo the jumbo jet was so small because (c) his designer couldn’t tell the difference between inches and centimetres.

>Answer three

It was for Darth Vader that David Prowse’s voice was not deep enough, and Orson Wells was thought to have too famous a voice. James Earl Jones' voice was used.

>Answer four

“This is the Bridal Suite. Would you send up a couple of caviar sandwiches and a bottle of beer?” was from The Philadelphia Story.
“Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it,” was from Harvey.
“Well, then you can swallow it, and it'll all dissolve, see... and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your hair... am I talking too much?” was from It's A Wonderful Life.
“You shouldn't keep souvenirs of a killing. You shouldn't have been that sentimental," was from Vertigo.

>Answer five

Before he was Yes Prime Minister, James Hacker was minister for the department of administrative affairs.

>Answer six

St James Park is the only FA Premier League Stadium actually in the centre of a city.

>Answer seven

Paul McCartney's trio was Wings (apparently they were a trio when they topped the chart!), his quartet was the Beatles, his quintet was the Beatles with Billy Preston and the sextet was Ferry Aid. Yes, I know, sorry.

>Answer eight

James James wrote the Welsh National Anthem.

>Answer nine

Jimi Hendrix died in 1970.

>Answer ten

(a) From Here to Maternity was the comedic subtitle of Carry On Matron.

(b) You Show Me Your Waterhole And I’ll Show You Mine was the comedic subtitle of Carry On Up The Jungle.

(c) And Carry On Cleo was released in the USA as Caligula: Funniest Home Videos.

That's enough James for now. This is where you post replies saying "no, that answer was wrong" or "how on earth was I mean to get that" or "give me my leg back, Fat Roland, I can't play football without it."

James, James, James, James, James, James, James, James, James, James

I don't often work with animals, but every so now and then I run a pub quiz in this unassuming venue (pictured) with my chums Lee the penguin and Dan who isn't a penguin.

We each get to write a round of questions, and on Wednesday night my round was themed 'famous Jameses'. For example, James Cracknell. Or Clive James or James T Kirk. Or James and the blue cat.

So pull up a pew and leave the lectern light on, dear reader; have a go at my James-themed quiz. I will post the answers in a week's time, so you can get your next door neighbour to check your answers.

Just a final point. It may be just a bit of fun, but if you google the answers, I will cut you, I will cut you real bad.

>Question one

In 2005, upon hearing of a sponsorship deal which would see an HP sauce logo on the brown ball at all major snooker tournaments, which championship-winning snooker player announced he had changed his name by deed poll to James Brown, and would wear only brown clothing when competing?

>Question two

In the 1980s children’s TV series Jimbo, why was Jimbo the jumbo jet so small?
(a) He was only a baby jumbo?
(b) He was only a baggage handler?
(c) His designer couldn’t tell the difference between inches and centimetres?
(d) He wasn’t small, he was just far away.

>Question three

David Prowse’s voice was not deep enough, and Orson Wells, although considered, was thought to have too famous a voice. Whose voice was eventually used, later becoming one of the most imitated voices of all time?

>Question four

Match the Jimmy Stewart quote with the film!

The quotes:
“This is the Bridal Suite. Would you send up a couple of caviar sandwiches and a bottle of beer?”
“Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it.”
“Well, then you can swallow it, and it'll all dissolve, see... and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your hair... am I talking too much?”
“You shouldn't keep souvenirs of a killing. You shouldn't have been that sentimental.”

The films:
Harvey
It’s A Wonderful Life
The Philadelphia Story
Vertigo

>Question five

Before he was Yes Prime Minister, James Hacker was minister for which government department?

>Question six

Which FA Premier League Stadium is the only one actually in the centre of a city?

>Question seven

The only musician to reach UK number one in the pop charts as a soloist, and also as part of a duo, a trio, a quartet, a quintet and a sextet is Sir James Paul McCartney.

His chart-topping solo act was, obviously, as Paul McCartney. His chart-topping duo act was Paul McCartney With Stevie Wonder. Name the chart-topping trio, quartet, quintet and sextet.

>Question eight

What patriotic tune did James James write?

>Question nine

In what year did Jimi Hendrix die?

>Question ten

A question on Sid James Carry On films!

(a) From Here to Maternity was the comedic subtitle of which Carry On film?

(b) You Show Me Your Waterhole And I’ll Show You Mine was the comedic subtitle of which Carry On film?

(c) And which Carry On film was released in the USA as Caligula: Funniest Home Videos?

That's all folks. The answers will be posted on Friday 12th January, which will now forever be known as National Pub Quiz Answer Posting Day.

The Cure for Information Overload

Woosh, radio over then life goes woot and yay here I am again.

Sorry, I think I've been affected by The Cure for Information Overload: a curious asserton, if you ask me.

Edit: Wow, that's a small letter 'a'.