Girls! Arse! Drink! Veckatimest!

Do watch the video for my favourite song of the moment, Two Weeks. This dazzling piece was masterfully directed by Patrick Daughters, who also did Feist's annoying but watchable 1234. It was pointed out to me by the absolutely smashing chap and Greenroom exhibition co-conspirator Heroes Of Lego.

Every day I bathe in electronica. I shampoo with bleeps and glitches. I rub analogue ambience into my scalp because I'm worth it.

So when this month's big new Warp Records release is from -- shock -- a guitar band like Grizzly Bear, my skin goes wrinkly and my bubble bath goes flat.

But, actually, I don't mind Grizzly Bear's new LP Veckatimest (mentioned previously on this blog here), from which Two Weeks was taken. In fact, I'm thinking of using this instead of my usual conditioner.

Veckitamest shimmers with melody. It cuts reverberating arcs from simple sun-drenched songs to psychedelia-infused experimentalism. It is, quite simply, the best album to buy right now if you like Animal Collective and Panda Bear.

The video, incidentally, uses no special effects. Grizzly Bear glow from within like human fridges. It's a pretty cool party trick, although the hum gets annoying after a while.

Five new IDM electronica releases I intend to purchase in the near and not so near future

Wisp: The Shimmering Hour. Not an actual wisp; that would be silly. It wouldn't stay in my CD player for a start. It would just float off and diffuse into my room's usual noxious haze of dust, fart gas and the terrible, belching smoke from burning puppies.

Grizzly Bear: Veckatimest. Not an actual gizzly bear. I suspect that would be inadvisable. I have no immediate intentions to go bear buying. Apart from white ones: you know, the ones with translucent fur that live on overzise mint sweets.

Biosphere: Wireless. Not an actual biosphere. Fitting all the world's ecosystems into your mp3 player may void your warranty, and in any case all that moisture would way you down when getting chased off Eamon Holmes' property. Oops. I wasn't meant to mention that.

Clark: Totems Flare. Not an actual clerk. That would be dull. I mean, if you wanted someone to take notes, perhaps do a bit of filing for my campaign for 'twazmuppet' to become the most common word in the English language, then maybe I'd buy a clerk.

Jega - Variance. Not an actual... um... at this point, the whole premise of this piece deflates like an airship in a needlework shop. *backs away from blog slowly*

Monthly mop-up: simmering Super Furries, dribbling confusion and net-loafing twazmuppets

Play with this cute flash synthesiser. Go on, have a play. Finished? Right then, stop faffing about and read my monthly mop-up for March.

What did I miss in March?

Probably quite a lot.  I should have mentioned Seeland, who are the blessed offspring of Broadcast (website graphic pictured) and Plone, and were tipped for great things in the second part of my 2009 preview back in January. Their music is bright, simple and gently experimental, like a simmering Super Furry Animals. Their debut album Tomorrow Today sounds like the 60s, the 70s and the 80s all at once.

I also ignored the Mark Pritchard single ? / The Hologram. It's his first release on brand spanking fresh Ho Hum label, and it's had some backing from Mary Ann Hobbs. ? is a dark drone that seems to momentarily peer at you from around the corner. The Hologram is a stolid slice of trip-hop that doesn't quite catch the spirituality of ?.

I also need to give you the latest goss on Luke Vibert.  The playground rave mentalist has stopped bathing in acid, and instead has lit up a massive doobie with some hip-hop inspired tracks - but that's for another post.

Can you recommend me some video action?

Yes. The massive, garguantuan, behemoth video superstar of March 2009 lived up to the hype. We've had mash-up vids before, but none has been as nose-breakingly effective as a collection of songs called Thru-You

Jerusalem-born Kutiman grabbed entirely unrelated snatches of other people's YouTube videos, cut them up, stretched them, sliced them, diced them and made love to them. The result is a collection of brilliant tracks that are so unlike their original source material, it renders all copyright arguments into a dribbling confusion. Watch the videos here.

And there was me thinking Radiohead on Mario Paint Composer would be the bestest video I saw this month.

Can I have an animal-themed link, please Mr Roland?

Grizzly Bear's impassioned plea, mentioned in my blog piece from a couple of weeks ago, reminded me of an interview the band did with Pitchfork last month in which Ed explained a shock Animal Collective leak and offered his thoughts on the death of the record buyer.  Read the short interview here. Album Veckatimest is out in two months.

What is a twazmuppet?

Tim Footman is a twazmuppet. Comment Is Free writer and Radiohead biographer Mr Footman had asked his Twitter friends to remind him to get on with some work and stop dabbling with social networking. It seemed like a sensible thing to do. So a few hours later, I messaged him:

"Get some shitting work done, you net-loafing twazmuppet."

'Twazmuppet' was a word I invented in my head months ago, but never had chance to use. So I yelled it at a poor defenceless author. Read Tim's reaction on his excellent blog here.

Tim Footman is anything but a twazmuppet. At least, I think he isn't. Can someone ring the OED to see if they've decided on a definition yet?

What's your favourite Warp track?

This is a question Warp Records are asking you, the general public. Go to their Warp 20 voting site and help celebrate the 20th birthday of the best record label of all time.

Do you pay for your record collection?

Do you pay for your record collection?

Following YouTube's decision to kick the pop stars off its screens (leaving the architect of Kylie Minogue's success in terrible poverty), you took one of two views. One: we internet-savvy media whores deserve all the free entertainment we can get, and we intend to stream our eyeballs out. Or two: "free" doesn't earn a living for struggling musicians; we should be paying for what we watch.

It has raised an interesting diversion in the battle between the internet autobots and the record industry decepticons. The debate is no longer about file sharing and illegal mp3s. In fact, Music Think Tank sounded the death knell for file sharing this week, arguing that illegal downloads are going the way of the mullet.

No. It's about streaming. Which bypasses the old debate about paying for transactions in which a piece of music comes into your ownership. It's a new debate about what you watch and what you hear through the power of Spotify or Last FM..

Independent writer Rhodri Marsden put up a staunch defence of the Performing Rights Society, insisting we should be forking out for our music consumption.  I agree with him, especially when you get the kind of impassioned plea from Grizzly Bear where hard-working artists have their new album leaked three months early.

So why, then, do I have a large stockpile of illegally obtained mp3s?

Well, almost all are single tracks swiped from blogs and file-sharing sites. I treat these downloads as tasters, and often do the old-fashioned thing of either buying the £6.99 download from Bleep or the £2.99 not-for-resale promo CD from Vinyl Exchange.

My streaming habits are different. Spotify spins me into a world of nostalgia; I listen to old albums I would never buy again. The past turns round and bites you on Spotify in the same way it does on Facebook (and noticeably doesn't on Twitter).

Last FM is another kettle of bunnies. It's the opposite of Spotify, in that it's totally about new music for me. It does, however, lead me into the cycle of sampling illegal mp3s, then eventually buying an album.

So maybe, my streaming habits feed my older-fashioned downloading habits. I don't think either habit costs the record industry a penny, though. I still pay for the bit of my record collection I really want to keep, and I would suggest this is true for a lot of music consumers.

Downloading can lead to disappointment.  The statistic that the dreary new U2 album was downloaded illegally over 400,000 times proves that, sometimes, you really can get nothing for nothing.  But overall, downloads serve as a valuable way of promoting promising musicians.

Get it wrong, and there's much to lose. Dave Allen, post-punk bassist and the proprieter of Pamplemoose sounded a warning that "what's at stake are the livelihoods of people who work at labels, big and small, and of artists who actually make a living recording and performing music."

No pressure, then. Do you pay for your record collection? Should you? Am I trying to justify behaviour which you think is harmful? Is streaming the new black? How will Pete Waterman get through the recession?

Post your thoughts (for free) below.

Aphex Twin's new album does not exist. Now can we just stop worrying and enjoy our knaves-- er, I mean-- lives?

"New album title begins with the letter V. Close enough to Y for Yellow House. Only W and X getting in the way, and keeping Y and V apart."

What?

Warp Records guitar-weilders Grizzly Bear exclusively revealed their new album begins with the letter V, according to this mysterious Twitter 'tweet' (link now broken) from a band member. They later exclusively revealed the LP will be called Veckatimest, and mixing finished this week.

Yes, wow. This website is just like Heat magazine so I can use phrases like 'exclusively revealed' and get away with it.

I can exclusively reveal that "Grizzly Bear's album begins with V" is an anagram of "Warm vegetably sizzling? Rubbish!"

In other Russell Grant-style wild speculation, I can exclusively reveal that the internet is squirming with the rumours of Aphex Twin (logo pictured) releasing an album called Konklaver.

Despite the rumours being absolute guffballs (there is no 'Konklaver'), Aphex fans are dribbling over forums everywhere with their unified cry "KONKLAVER!!!!!!!!!!", wearing down their exclamation mark to a mere smudge of its former self.

Aphex Twin has long been the subject of conjecture, as fans of his pseudonym The Tuss will testify.

With titles no better than 'Fashionable Headpiece', the dull track listing of 'Konklaver' is a far cry from Aphex's rich, early names like Schottkey 7th Path, Acrid Avid Jam Shred and i.*

As speculation goes, it's pretty unconvincing. But speculation's rife, as speculation so often - I can exclusively reveal - is.

I can exclusively reveal that 'Aphex Twin's Konklaver' is an anagram of 'Howl, extra-pink knaves.'

Aphex Twin's new album does not exist. Grizzly Bear's, however, does.

I can exclusively reveal I have been using an anagram generator instead of watching the Grammys. Please stop reading this drivel, and pop over to YouTube where you can see a delightful video of Grizzly Bear playing in a French bathroom in 2006.

Ever-so-slightly related blog post: Aphex Twin's new album does exist, my lying mouth be damned

Update: read my December 2009 update on Aphex Twin's new album here.

Update: read my March 2012 update on Aphex Twin's new album here, including an exclusive comment from Grant-out-of-Rephlex.

*not a typo, honest.

A mallet-pawing, arm-throating, wrestle-bashing preview of 2009 (part two)

I'd better get my 2009 preview finished before this whole New Year lark becomes unfashionable.

March.

Berlin adrenalin-techno kid (and former classical violinist, 'pparently) Tim Exile will plant his Listening Tree album.

The Future Sound Of London, whose artwork make gatefold vinyl a pleasure to ogle at, will play their first live date for over a decade at the Bloc weekender. It is unlikely to be as frenetic as Dan Deacon's live performanced.  Deacon counts a mallet among his percussion instruments, and has been taking to the stage with a synth-heavy 14-piece ensemble at recent gigs.  For that reason alone, seek out his new long-player Bromst.

Oh and former members of Plone and Broadcast have formed Seeland, who I reckon are a hot tip for 2009. When you clap ears on their debut album, you'll spot whispers of Stereolab and the BBC Radiophonic Workshop.

The rest of 2009.

One of Paul Simon's favourite bands, Grizzly Bear should give Warp Records a new album in May, or thereabouts.  Speaking of Mr Simon, I still haven't forgiven the garfunkled-one for Graceland.  And while we're at it, I'm still boycotting Sly Stallone films for the travesty that is his 1996 movie Daylight.

If I kept my CDs on shelves, with my favourite artists on the higher shelves, and my least favourite artists on the lower shelves, Plaid would have their very own shelf about fourteen miles above my house. They are putting the finishing touches to their album Scintilli, and it will be released on Warp some time in the middle of the year.

In August, Orbital will morph together for their first live performance since John Peel's Maida Vale sessions, this time at the Big Chill. As I said in this post back in November, they have promised it won't be "an exercise in nostalgia". Of course, we all know it will.

Portishead ended 2009 without a record contract, so expect some In Rainbows-style tomfoolery with their fourth album. It should be out around September.

On a more commercial tip, ex-Pop Idol contestant (spit!) and new darling of the press Little Boots will claim 2009 as her own. She's worth watching because she uses a Tenori-on, which is a pretty Japanese music making box that lights up. The same people who rave about 'Boots enthuse about La Roux.

Finally, you may need to strap me down because I am insanely excited about one particular artist.  The Glaswegian Hudson Mohawke refers to everything as "shite" on his Myspace page.  He's not being negative: he's just being, well, Scottish.

Mohawke is a new signing to Warp Records, and he flips between electronica, hip hop, electro and soul in ways that really shouldn't be possible.

Someone somewhere labelled his music as "emotronic" (probably H-Mo himself).  He's working on an album which should sound a little like this: