Ten bloody brilliant Autechre tracks

Sorry to keep on banging on about Autechre (and also for posting another list), but a while ago someone challenged me to name my ten favourite Autechre tracks. The offer was too droolsome to ignore.

I made a list but I haven't been able to post it until now. There is a good reason.

I wrote down the list in a red Silvine notebook, tore out the page, folded it into four, put it in the back of my fishing shorts, fell into a river, put the shorts through the wash, took them out of the washing machine, realised I'd left something in my pocket, thought it was money and panicked, dried the soggy paper on a radiator, realised it was my list, had a radiator leak, re-dried the list by breathing on it for four days, had an asthma attack, got home from hospital, unfolded the hardened remains of the piece of paper, used a magnifying glass to read the faded writing, caught a ray of sun in the magnifying glass, set fire to the list, burned down the house and not in a Talking Heads kind of way, trawled through the smoking remains (of the house that is not Talking Heads), found the strangely intact list next to a charred teddy bear, jumped on a neighbour's computer to type it before anything else went wrong, buried the list so nothing else could get at it, went fishing, forgot my shorts.

So that's why I haven't posted this list until now. Either that, or I'm lazier than a sloth with thirteen koala bear butlers.

Here are ten of my favourite Autechre tracks with YouTube links, in alphanumeric order with their parent albums in brackets. It pretty much shows which era of Autechre I'm into, although I deliberately haven't included anything from Oversteps because it's all too recent.

Full YouTube playlist of ten bloody brilliant Autechre tracks.

Individual links:

444 (Incunabula)

6IE.CR (Draft 7.30)

Altibzz (Quarastice)

Arch Carrier (LP5)

Bike (Incunabula)

Clipper (Tri Repetae)

Drane2 (LP5)

Gantz Graf (Confield)

Second Bad Vibel (Tri Repetae)

Theme Of Sudden Roundabout (Draft 7.30)

It's not a pie chart but I called it a Bri Chart because that was the only pun I could think of

This chart shows why I'm worried about Brian Eno. (Click here for large.)

I should have posted this months ago, when Eno told Radio 4's Front Row that he would be producing the latest LP from tapioca-flavoured, whinging popmunters Coldplay.

He said their new material "will be very original and very different from what they've done before."

It wasn't.

Viva La Whatever was released by Coldplay this week and, like past albums from James and U2, you can see the Eno sheen dripping from every note.

But what was Eno thinking of? What was the former producer of U2's sunglasses era and Talking Heads doing anywhere near a band I consider so bad, I'd rather trim my toenails with a chainsaw than listen to Chris Martin's Bluntesque mediocrity.

That's why I created my Bri Chart, above, showing the collapsing milestone's of Brian Eno's production career.

On a more delightful note, listen to Islands covering Eno's The Big Ship (you'll need to scroll down a bit).

Of his Eno cover, Islands' Nicholas Thorburn said "It doesn't matter if it's sloppy. Things can be a little rough around the edges if they have heart."

Or they can be as neat and tidy as a Coldplay song and have absolutely no pulse whatsoever.

Just time for an mpSunday, the series where I use the internet to give away music. Clever, I know. It only seems relevant to bust you some Eno, so here goes:

mpSunday: Brian Eno's Big Ship (this mp3 has now gaaawn - click here for the latest mpSunday.)