Lie down and lift up your T-shirt

In April, the month of yellow and rain and chocolate, I will be setting the Fat Roland sail towards the choppy waters of Refresh FM.

Refresh is a community radio station in Manchester (Englandland) who have been insane enough to let Lee and me take over the 9pm weekday evening slots.

One of the shows we'll be presenting is the Theatre Of Noise. Unlike most other radio shows dedicated to Christian music, the Theatre Of Noise is all about destruction, loud guitars and (I hope) annoying Christians who deserve to be annoyed.

>Foot spa

We're having to prepare, of course. Lee is walking round with cucumbers on his eyes, and every day I drown myself head first in a foot spa. Perhaps a more constructive element of our preparation was our time in a real life Gmmaz recording studio to 'lay down' a podcast. I'm yet to load it onto i-Tunes, but in the meantime the podcast is available as an mp3 download on our Myspace page.

While you're listening to that (it's shambolic, slightly rude and full of nonsense; this was quite deliberate), let me bestow upon you my plans for this here blog.

>Stupidity

Over the next two weeks, I will blog a picture diary of our time in the studio. I will introduce you to the characters that took part in the podcast, show you the technical side of our stupidity, and give you a fascinating visual insight into the games and props that make the Theatre Of Noise what it is. And there'll be a bit of video at the end of it all.

Why? Because I love you and want to phrrrrrpt your belly.

Imagine it as a kind of photographic version of Planet Earth. Without David Attenborough. Or the high definition visuals. Or, indeed, any of the content.

Consider yourself phrrrrrpted; watch this blogspace.