Would you kick Shawn Mendes out of the Lost In Translation bed?

Lost In Translation had one of those great band soundtracks. My Bloody Valentine, Air, Death In Vegas and, at his most heavenly, Squarepusher,

Some pop plonker has come along and ruined all that. Vine karaokeist Shawn Mendes has mimicked Sofia Coppola's 2003 film on his new single Lost In Japan. The fresh-faced Canadian plays the role of whiskey-plugger Bob, originally portrayed by a weather-beaten Bill Murray.

He even recreates Murray's iconic bed-sitting moment (pictured), used as the cover for the original soundtrack release.

"Do you got plans tonight?" says Mendes. "We'd be in the same timezone," says Mendes. "Did you like me in Zombieland?" says Mendes. Maybe not that last one.

This is, of course, the end of all civilisation. We can't have these young whippersnappers ruining classic old things, with their "youth" and their "looks" and their "talent". Before you know it, there'll be a new bunch of teenagers watching the film with their fresh and unwrinkled eyes.

Whats next? 5 Seconds Of Summer remaking Reservoir Dogs? Justin Biebpipe going bezerk on a lawnmower for Straight Story? Jaden Smith as the shark in Jaws?!

Actually, I'd watch that.

Further Fats: It's 3.30am and this is what I think of Da Vinci (2006)

Further Fats: Watch the video for Oneohtrix Point Never's Animals (2016, contains Val Kilmer sitting on a bed)

Feel the breeze with Vessels

This is Vertical by Leeds band Vessels, a bunch of post-rockers who went techno. Readers, meet Vertical. Vertical, meet my readers.

This is old, from, like, 2015 or something. I know, they made music even in the old days.

Get up to speed with this track's slow-build, enjoy a deliciously wet bassline at the three-minute mark, then watch the whole thing soar. You can feel the wind in your hair with this one.

Ten things I did in September

Listened to Heart by the Pet Shop Boys twice in a row.

Wrote a short short story AND installed a toilet floor on the same day.

Saw a brace of magpies eat a dead bird.

Went to a space-themed takeaway complete with videos of meteors.

Went to Didsbury Pride, which was a bit like a church fete but with more rainbows.

Upgraded my internet, which is very dull, but it's going to make a big difference for my creative / work gubbins.

Had a baby squirrel climb up my leg then look up at me confused.

Did gigs in Cumbria, Derbyshire and Burnage, the holy tryptich of entertaining places.

Went to a reconstruction of Princess Diana's funeral and had the Daily Star on my back digging for info.

Rediscovered Sun Electric's 1996 album Present (pictured), which mostly passed me by at the time - it's a corker.

You are enough

Here's s sign that has popped up in several places around Manchester. This one was tweeted by @uomlib_nick. You are enough, it says.

It's an important sentiment, and maybe something we all need to hear. We have nothing more to give than ourselves, and there's nothing greater to give.

The design is the work of Micah Purnell. He's a lovely bloke who seems to have an 'adbusters' chip in his brain: he has a particular talent for subverting brand imagery. He once designed one of my stories, a frame I still have on display in my living room.

So why the serious post, Fats, and what's this got to do with anything?

You know when you see something differently? The vase instead of the faces? The blue dress instead of the gold dress? It's happened here. I cannot unsee this poster's unintended double-meaning of ambient musician disgust.

You see it too now, right? You are Eno, ugh! Poor Brian.

It's doesn't erase its original meaning though: actually, that quirk has now made this one of my favourite poster designs. If you want some Micah Purnell Design Studio merch in your life, including this poster, head to this website. You should - he deserves the coin.

Because, y'know, maybe you're NOT enough and you need merchandise to complete your life. Dammit. I've missed the point, haven't I.

Too long, didn't watch? Jon Hopkins' new video for Singularity

For those who are simply too busy to watch a whole video, here's what happens in the new Jon Hopkins promo for Singularity, directed by Seb Edwards.

Spoilers.

Bloke comes back from the newsagents. Stands in a puddle for a bit. A woman listens to his leather jacket. They pretend they're Torvill and Dean and she's like, shut up, I'm that Peep Show guy doing Flashdance. And he's like, let me go into this other room to see what's there. He checks the radiator's on. We never find out if the radiator's on. After a bit of a spin, they pop into the woods for a fag.

I think that covers it.

Is Aphex Twin's Collapse EP any good?

Yes. Of course it is. Don't be stupid.

Considering he's been splattering out tracks like the biggest nosebleed in the universe, Aphex Twin's latest Collapse EP seems to have clotted enough to catch plenty of attention.

Lead track T69 Collapse seems to squidge together his skippy Syro style with the cascading Windowlicking of his earlier work, and it does it to great effect. The insectoid dice rattle on 1st 44 is a real ear-tickler.

And keep an eye on the clattery and insanely melodic MT1 t29r2: it's one of his cheekiest tracks and may well end up being a live favourite. If it's not already.

The whole EP is jittery, certainly much more than 2016's Cheetah EP, but never loses its groove.

Strange, isn't it. You blast out over 200 tracks on Soundcloud, and all the beat-geeks rake through the material, with nothing getting much attention beyond forums and the occasional thinkpiece. You package up a few tracks with Warp, slap the dizzying artwork around a few tube stations, and everyone's abuzz. It's nice.

He's come a long way for a dancing teddy bear.

Pop-up Fat Roland - some upcoming gigs

Hello there, internet. I've done another video. It's a bit like a serial killer doing another murder but, er, you can subscribe to my nefarious feeds.

You'll never catch me, rozzers. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha etc...

This one's about some upcoming gigs, but it's not just bland promotion. Honest. It's got spiders in! Actually, I lied, there are no spiders but watch it anyway. Thanks.

Listify my Spotify: Sun Electric, Moderat, Surgeon & morr

Here's what has been plopping up on my Spotify recently.

As you know, Spotify has a "random" function, where it chucks all of your mp3s into a tombola. It picks them out one by one, and no one gets a prize at the end. Here's an arbitrary chunk of ten (see picture) 

I've deleted all the duplicate artists in this list. Also, I nixed a Transglobal Underground track because I really wanted to get Skee Mask in there. It's cheating. Sue me.

What should I add to my Spotify playlist? Hit me up in the comments below.