I love a bit of Halloween. The ghosts. The witches. The turnips. Is it turnips? What's that orange thing? Watermelons? Anyway, I love it all.
To celebrate the best festivity of the year - let's be honest, it easily beats Easter and National Talk Like A Pirate Day - I've decided to collate my best spooky @FatRoland tweets.
Get ready to be scared. Wooooooh. Turnips. Aaaaaargh.
Today is Halloween, which as we all know comes from the phrase "Hello, Ian".
31 Oct 2021
Ooo, I'm a scary biscuit. [climbs into biscuit tin]
23 Jul 2015
I only got one trick or treater coming up my drive last night. Thankfully, my blood catapult seems to have worked.
1 Nov 2010
The G in 5G stands for Ghosts. Be careful out there.
4 Apr 2020
Actual conversation with a taxi driver today, September 7th.
Driver: It's been quiet today.
Me: Change in weather, I suppose.
Driver (sternly): No.
Me: *all the awkwards*
Driver: It's because people are getting ready for Halloween.
7 Sep 2018
"Wooooh, I'm Martin Gore, Demon of the Sixth Sunday after Pentecost."
7 Jan 2014
Ooo, Halloween, oooo, fingers everywhere. Lots of spooky fingers. Is it a ghost? No, it's a finger. Wooooooh, fingers.
31 Oct 2017
Crikey, that was scary stuff, wasn't it.