BlueDot announce Kraftwerk as 2019 headliners - nice!

BlueDot Festival has just announced Kraftwerk as headliner for 2019. For a festival which blends science and music, it's yet another canny booking.

So to celebrate, and because I'm lazy, here are some hastily-lifted Kraftwerkian highlights from the entire history of this blog. Happy browsing.

1. KLING! Top five bands that you wouldn't expect to record Kraftwerk covers but they did, honestly they did... read more on this 2010 Kraftwerk blog post.

2. KLANG! Orbital have a new single out, and blow me down with an electronic sausage, it's a Kraftwerk cover. Read more on this 2017 Kraftwerk blog post.

3. KLONG! According to my pocket calculator, Florian Schneider was in the band for 38 years.  To put that into perspective, teenager-snuggling metallics-botherer Bill Wyman was in the Rolling Stones for only 30 years. Delve into this 2009 Kraftwerk blog post.

4. KLENG? In the beginning, you had the puritans. Kraftwerk, who were clean and clinical, who stood there on their podiums giving sermons about wild ideas like pocket calculators and autobahns. Read my 2010 Gospel According To Aphex Twin.

5. KLUNK. All I have now are reflections of a remarkable time. Read my reflections on my debut 2015 solo show Kraftwerk Badger Spaceship, written moments after I finished a run in Edinburgh.

Further Fats: 'Scoping out the 2017 BlueDot festival (2017)

Further Fats: BlueDotBlog: Love is all (2018)

#KraftwerkBS fringe diary 7: proper unlocked

I haven’t blogged for a few days because I made a point about going to see more shows. My last few Kraftwerk Badger Spaceships went well, and now I am at home in Manchester. My Fringe is over. No more performing. No more attending. No more flyering. Just a big, gassy bag of nothing.

All I have now are reflections of a remarkable time. Here are those reflections in no particular order:

> I wanted to put on 14 shows, stay healthy, and enjoy the experience. Achievement unlocked. My average audience was something like 14 people, which ain’t bad for an unknown. I saw big names getting just 5 more than me. Nearly 200 people chose to see my debut Fringe show above a squillion other possibilities. Lawks.

> Early in the run, I was editing for two hours a day. Then it was one hour, then it was single sentences, and then I had a lovely moment a few days ago when all I had to edit between shows was one word (from “horse” to “stallion” if you must know). This means those that saw KBS later in the month saw a better show. Sorry 'bout that.

> Throw in a couple of low audiences or a walk-out from a famous comedian, and the isolation of an Edinburgh show really hits you. Enthusiastic audience feedback tempered this, and two lovely hosts in the north of the city kept me grounded. And yes, the city itself is such an eye-hugger, it has a way of architecturing your spirits back to health.

> I’m being judged against stand-ups who do this most days of their life. So throw in a run of high audiences and the knowledge that I’m hitting all my performance marks, and there is no better feeling. I’ll always remember the beaming or bemused faces in front of me, or that one person in every show who Does Not Get It, thereby proving my artistic worth.

> I was so limited. Hundreds of flyers remained un-flyered, I was slow to put up posters, I didn’t chase press interest as much as I should have done, and I barely did any guest appearances. But if I’d spent more time on that, the show itself would have been worse. Next year’s to-do list has already started.

> I’ve still so much to learn. I think I will look back on this debut show as a rickety, loveable tin-pot contraption that worked perfectly well thank you very much. What an experience. Achievement massively unlocked.

Huge thanks to the Edinburgh Fringe, Laughing Horse and the Argyle Bar for giving me a stage.

#KraftwerkBS fringe diary 6: like a room without a roof

Flyering on the Royal Mile. In the rain. Oh my.

I was really miserable yesterday. I'm handing out flyers for two hours a day every day. When it's sunny on the Meadows, it's kind of fine. But the clouds spat their contempt when the heavens opened as I was flyering on the Royal Mile on Friday afternoon.

To make it worse, an jolly acapella group next to me blasted out the insipid plop of wedding-reception vomit that is Pharrell Williams' Happy. I cursed my life and I moved further down the Royal Mile for some peace and quiet. And lo and behold, God placed next to me another acapella group. And guess what they were singing. Yeah, you guessed it. In Edinburgh, you are never more than six feet away from the dried, brittle shell of Pharrell Williams' credibility.

I have five more Kraftwerk Badger Spaceships left before I skateboard back to Manchester. Rather than winding down, it feels the show is gaining momentum. Not necessarily in numbers (they're keeping quite healthy considering how weird the show is, and the audiences seem delighted), but creatively I'm treading new paths. Paths with increased momentum. On my skateboard. Basically, what I'm saying is I'm gaining momentum by treading a path on a skateboard. I'm confused. What was I saying again?

Some recent big-ticket Fringe highlights: Stewart Lee being angrily visceral, George Egg's unique and spectacular cookery comedy, Joseph Morpurgo's blistering inventiveness, and drinks with friends. Some great spoken word events too (Oh Standfast / Cassie Atkinson, Stand-Up Versus Slam, Luke Wright). I tried for tickets for Nina Conti and Bridget Christie, but failed. Paul Foot and Tony Law to come.

#KraftwerkBS fringe diary 5: seriously excellent and/or inane

I got a review. I got a flipping review.

After only ever performing a one hour show a handful of times in my life, a reviewer sat in my audience and scribbled this for Broadway Baby: "Badger Spaceship is a seriously excellent piece of music-based comedy, and is a delight to sit through." It reads like there's a star missing, and the reviewer says "inane" a lot, but consider this:

> The show starts with a dry reading off a page to test the audience's literary mettle and, it has to be said, stamina. I am fascinated with audience alienation as a comedy tool. What I do is not 'easy' comedy.

> I'm ridiculously inexperienced at this type of performance, and I'm being judged against comedians that have worked their material over hundreds of times.

> The show is in a deep level of flux. I'm tweaking Kraftwerk Badger Spaceship every day. Some new bits work, some new bits don't so they get chopped, but the new ending is landing the show beautifully.

So am I proper chuffed with that review? You betcha.

I'm now into the second half of the run. Today is my birthday show. So it's time to increase the risks. I've switched out a weaker element of the show, which will shift the whole structure, and instead I've added these little chaps (pictured above). Already grasping for that extra star...

I feel like I'm living on the streets, despite being put up by generous hosts north of the city centre. I'm still staggering around Edinburgh in my homemade sandwich-board. I'm slowly toasting in the sun. My trainers have fallen apart. Yesterday, I paid £6 for a microwaved quiche: apparently "some rocket" constitutes a salad these days. If only I was a normal stand-up comedian: I'd totally mine that for content. It'd be cheaper to buy a real rocket! Amiright? Whatever, shut up. I've got a REVIEW.

#KraftwerkBS fringe diary 4: the start of an ending (poetic that, innit)

I did something drastic. I rewrote the show's ending. Today's audience was the guinea pig and it worked beautifully. The new finish lands the show with a nice clunk, a bit like a hippo dropping into a wheelie bin. I'm more pleased than a buffalo in a model aircraft shop. The audience responded like a newt riding a toboggan. Basically, something-something animal in something-something humans use.

I went to see Sam Simmons' wondeful Spaghetti For Breakfast. Sam's one of those people who's trying to bring something unique to his shows, someone who's blazing a trail of creativity through a dying forest of 't-shirt-and-jeans' stand-up comedians. Not that you should set fire to trees. Sam saw me at a bus stop after the show, thanked me for coming and shook my hand. We embraced, pressed our cheeks together and both rasped in unison, "let's petrol-bomb a larch." Okay, that last sentence didn't happen, but the point is he's a nice bloke and what he's doing is weirdly important.

One chap to whom I handed a flyer told me he owned a Moog. "Robert Moog gets a mention in my show," I said. He seemed happy with that information. I also met a cartoonist for the Beano. Two dogs have asked for flyers. Someone told me to laminate my sandwich-board: I presume that was local speak for something. Tell you what: flyering's a trek but it works. I reckon it's adding a third onto my modest audience figures. Can't complain.

Do make noise about the show if you can, chums. I'm a third of the way through. It would be great to get standing-room-only: I think that's achievable - but my audience is the only publicity machine I have. Kraftwerk Badger Spaceship is 5pm every day here until August 19th. If you tweet, use the tag #KraftwerkBS: I may even make a cartoon from your tweet (see above). Clunk!

#KraftwerkBS fringe diary 3: losing myself in the show

Two Edinburgh shows done. A dozen to go. If you've seen me perform, please do leave a review on the Edinburgh Fringe page for Kraftwerk Badger Spaceship, or perhaps pop a review on Twitter using the hashtag #KraftwerkBS.

I've spent the first few days either losing myself in re-writes or losing myself literally on the streets of Edinburgh. But this morning, I booked a bunch of shows to go to. I did two and half hours of flyering yesterday, with another two hours later today, but I don't my Fringe experience to be all promo and no audiencing. That'd be stupid. People who have seen the show won't be surprised to know I have tickets for, among others, Sam Simmons and Stewart Lee.

Audience numbers picked up last night. It's a lovely venue space at the Argyle Bar's Cellar Monkey - just on the south side of The Meadows. I'm so hoping word of mouth gets around, because I've been crap at proper publicity and promo. Too busy writing the flipping show.

On the positive side, I've fashioned a crappy card-and-pen sandwich board with some audience quotes on. It also carries a Twitter quote from Broadway Baby: "This looks way to interesting to ignore." Sometimes that makes people ignore me more out of spite and/or fear at the weird man dressed in cheap stationery items.

#KraftwerkBS fringe diary 2: launch day and the 2nd podcast

I must be an interminable fart on Twitter at the moment: Fringe this, Fringe that. I remember the days when all I cared about was getting my nappy changed and where my next rusk was coming from. Boy, those A-Level days were simpler times.

See what I did there? That was a joke. That's what people do at the Edinburgh Fringe.

I went to the free fringe festival launch party yesterday. I hoovered up free drinks like an anteater clearing up after an earthquake at, say, some kind of aardvark craft beer pub or something. That's less of a joke, sorry. People were very friendly. Some stand-ups did their thing then I got on the wrong bus home. Y'know, normal Fat Roland stuff.

I'm very aware of being a very small badger in a huge metropolis of badgers here, although the free festival organiser bloke did say he'd seen busy Twitter activity (#KraftwerkBS). I am no-one. That's why I'm doing stupid stuff like Fat Roland's Audio Spaceship: I finished episode two yesterday morning, and you can listen to it below. Episode three will be after the fringe, alas.

First Kraftwerk Badger Spaceship show (5pm, Cellar Monkey) tonight. How do I feel? I feel prepared. I've scoped out the venue, checked the tech. My main worry is few people turn up or the previous act overruns. However, this is my fringe mantra:

- Do the best show I can no matter what happens;
- I will do the show for one person: none of this "not enough people to perform" crap;
- Celebrate small successes and don't fret over mistakes.

For now: dress rehearsal, breakfast then the wrong bus into town.

#KraftwerkBS fringe diary 1: on a preview high

I'm going to try to keep a blog diary during the run of my debut Edinburgh fringe show Kraftwerk Badger Spaceship (#KraftwerkBS on Twitter). Try. Don't hold me to it.

The response to my Manchester preview was immense. Funny and creative and strangely touching, they said. We liked the pictures and all the funny bits, they said. Please give us back our grandparents, they said.

I requested feedback, and every response I got was intelligent, informed, encouraging and challenging. You'll see some quotes from the feedback appearing on Twitter over the next week.

After the preview, I shortened some of the show to create time for a new ending that should finish things on a kind-of high. Of course, adding a new bit has eaten into my post-preview confidence, but I like that. I want some danger in there.

I've been clothes shopping. Had my hair cut. My elbows waxed. I'm ready for the fringe. Two days to go.

Fringe planning update plus a picture of an elephant

Today, my Manchester preview of Kraftwerk Badger Spaceship was a top five pick on Creative Tourist by my utterly unbiased Bad Language colleague Joe Daly. The article's quote "you may struggle to know what you've seen" is better than any blurb I've come up with: it feels like a performance challenge as much as a description.

Here's where I'm up to with the show:

NOT GOING OUT.

I've cleared my diary so I can continue working on the show. I don't want to miss a good idea. More importantly, I need to allow head-space for that internal critic...

OKAY FLYERS.

I've just approved proofs for flyer artwork. I'm not quite sure the flyers are good enough. But I haven't got the creative energy to do better: it's all going on the darn show.

BEING REALISTIC.

I'm aware my publicity has had very little traction overall, but I'm also aware that I just want to survive the 14 day run without everything going on fire or being attacked by buffalo. If I get a single review or column inch, it's a bonus. Consider that expectation parked.

HAVING A BREAKTHROUGH.

I had a mini breakthrough last night when I ditched a bit of material I thought I *should* do - but actually, the show's stronger without it. It's probably the riskiest thing I've done in my planning: I hope it holds together. Already, I feel more certain about my show than I did in this blog post.

GETTING JIGGY.

I've some writing left to do, mainly little visual stings that will drop in every ten minutes, and a whole bunch of marker pen madness to do. So if I don't go to your event / drinks, it's because I'm getting jiggy with a sharpie (see above).

Actually, I don't use sharpies. I tend to need better art pens for the kind of shizzle I do. Y'know. Just saying. Jeez, shut up about the sharpies already.

Want to see me in Edinburgh? Here's some Free Festival information.

An update on writing Kraftwerk Badger Spaceship (Edinburgh Fringe 2015)

As you may well know, or not, I'm presenting my first ever show at the Edinburgh Fringe this year. Kraftwerk Badger Spaceship runs from August 6th to 19th at the Cellar Monkey, and there's a Manchester preview on July 26th. All free as part of Laughing Horse's brilliant free fringe.

Writing an Edinburgh show is different if you're under the category of "spoken word". It's not as if I'm a gigging comedian polishing the same 20 minutes week in, week out. In fact, us spoken word acts have it easy.

At least, I thought it would be easy. As it happens it's kind of hard. This is how the show looks so far. I've kept it vague so there are no spoilers.

> Me doing an introduction to tell you everything that's going to happen over the next hour;

> Me imparting some of my amazing wisdom about electronic music. I expect lots of "aahs" and "oohs" at this point;

> Me attempting something approaching poetry although I've looked it up in a dictionary and I thought a "poetry" was a kind of fancy spoon;

> A few things that have gone down well recently because the audience laughed and didn't throw tomatoes or rocks or saucepans;

> A bit where it all gets a bit down. I call this the "dip". Feel free to scroll your phone at this point.

> A chunk of audience interaction, assuming I have an audience by this point and the room is just me and some chairs and a startled mouse transporting a piece of cheese from one side of the room to the other.

And I have little linky bits that should glue the whole lot together, done in the same style as the introduction. What I'm missing at the moment is an end. And I'm missing a specific element of uncertainty (other than the audience interaction or response) that will keep all 14 shows fresh for me, and add a bit of an extra challenge for my performance. Fear not. I have ideas.

This whole experience of piecing together a show has had some serious ebbs and flows. I think I have something, then it drifts away. Ideas wash into my head like the tide, tickling my brain with their bubbles, then all I have left is seaweed. One day I can look at my show and see 50 minutes of brilliant material: the next day, I think I have 10.

One thing I do have is confidence that the show will be entirely Me, capital M. What state Kraftwerk Badger Spaceship will be in after 14 dates in Edinburgh, I have no idea. Will I lose myself? Will all of my audience just be mice? How on earth do gigging comedians cope?

Click here for details of my Manchester preview.

Fat Roland's Audio Spaceship episode 1: the time of my life

In preparation for my Edinburgh Fringe show Kraftwerk Badger Spaceship, I've done a thing. It's called Fat Roland's Audio Spaceship. I wrote and recorded it in one day on my phone, all first-drafty and clunky sound. You'll enjoy it.

In Fat Roland's Audio Spaceship, I waffle on about 1987, badgers, not-Kraftwerk, poo on a road, a vending machine scandal, Twitter and, to a lesser extent, funnels.

If you have any ideas about episode two of this, er, thing, let me know in the comments.

Kraftwerk Badger Spaceship: an Edinburgh free fringe show

Kraftwerk Badger Spaceship is the name of my debut show at the 2015 Edinburgh Fringe. There will be a special Manchester preview on July 26th and you are invited.

My one-hour solo appearance in Edinburgh as part of Laughing Horse's free festival is "a spoken-word comedy about one idiot’s battle with electronic music... is it poetry or prop comedy or just a fat man with too many marker pens?"

Here are some dates for your diary...

Kraftwerk Badger Spaceship: Manchester preview
Gullivers, Oldham Street, Manchester
Sunday 26 July 2015 8pm

Kraftwerk Badger Spaceship
Cellar Monkey, Argyle Place, Edinburgh
Thurs 6 to Wed 19 August 2015 5pm

When blog success propelled me into the sweltering heart of Manchester's performance scene, I never really thought it would come to this. I've just taken a week of work to knock the show into better shape - and I've been live-tweeting that process on the curation Twitter account We Are Manc. To be honest, having that accountability has kept me sane. Almost.

See you in Manchester / Edinburgh / Edinmanchesterburgh.