Erasure's video for A Little Respect, line by line

In this essay, I will prove that the video for Erasure's A Little Respect is a cinematic masterpiece, on a par with Citizen Kane, the Godfather Trilogy and the Spongebob Squarepants Movie.

Actually, it's not quite an essay. I'm simply going to describe how the video subtly illustrates each line of the lyric. Strap in. Get the video loaded up (or stream at the bottom of this blog post), and follow along below.

Erasure's video for A Little Respect

"I try to discover"
Vince Clarke looks through a magnifying glass while Andy Bell peers into a microscope

"A little something to make me sweeter"
Loads of sugar is spooned into a decorative tea cup, stretching the meaning of the word "little"    

"Oh baby refrain from breaking my heart"
Andy Bell tries to stop a hammer-wielding Vince Clarke from breaking the heart that Andy is holding: Vince does indeed smash the heart, and Andy laughs at the futility of life

"I'm so in love with you"
A child dressed as Cupid curls up on the seat of a JCB, perhaps suggesting love is a bulldozer

"I'll be forever blue"
Vince Clarke and Andy Bell turn blue

"That you gimme no reason why you make-a-me work so hard"
Andy Bell dressed as a construction worker has a lovely time with a pneumatic drill

"That you gimme no, that you gimme no, that you gimme no, that you gimme no soul"
Andy Bell is festooned with presents, none of which seem to be someone's soul, until, that is, we cut to the logo of the Seoul Olympics

"I hear you calling"
Andy Bell, finished with his construction work and what appeared to be an impromptu birthday, is now yodelling

"Oh baby, please, give a little respect to me"
Vince Clarke gives Andy Bell a small sign with the word RESPECT on

"And if I should falter"
Andy Bell leans onto a pillar which falls over, taking Andy with him

"Would you open you arms out to me?"
Vince Clarke opens out the arms of a skeleton and looks very pleased with himself

"We can make love not war"
Clad in army camouflage, Andy Bell and a lipstick-kissed Vince Clarke hide in military netting

"And live at peace with our hearts"
Andy Bell and Vince Clarke stand in the doorway of their home, which is called, according to a tasteless sign above their door, PEACE WITH OUR HEARTS

"I'm so in love with you"
The Cupid child fires a bow and arrow, then cheers furiously, presumably in delight at the person he's just killed – a risky crime considering we know the Erasure boys own a magnifying glass and a microscope

"I'll be forever blue"
Vince Clarke and Andy Bell turn blue again, and show no concern at this repeat incident

"What religion or reason could drive a man to forsake his lover?"
In a scene reminiscent of Bronski Beat's Smalltown Boy, Vince Clarke and Andy Bell walk away, bindles over shoulder and surrounded by the precarious pillars that previously foxed Andy

"Don't you tell me no, don't you tell me no, don't you tell me no, don't you tell me no soul"
Vince Clarke shakes his head lots, perhaps in judgement at the next shot, which is Andy Bell using sole fish as earrings

"I hear you calling"
Andy Bell dresses as an old man and uses an ear trumpet to listen to Vince Clarke who is dressed as an umpire or sweet shop owner

"Oh baby, please, give a little respect to me"
A smug-looking Andy Bell gives a larger RESPECT sign to Vince Clarke, further stretching the definition of the word "little"

"I'm so in love with you"
The Cupid boy again, whose actions are harder to make out but he could be playing darts at God's face – he doesn't appear again, presumably smited

"I'll be forever blue"
Vince Clarke and Andy Bell turn blue again, the former's raspberry blow showing a cavalier attitude to an increasingly disturbing medical condition

"That you gimme no reason, you know you make me work so hard"
A flat-capped Vince Clarke mops his brow as he pick-axes, off screen, a pavement or possibly the Cupid child

"That you gimme no, that you gimme no, that you gimme no, that you gimme no soul"
Andy Bell and Vince Clarke are festooned with pieces of paper, none of which seem to be someone's soul, until we cut to, er, someone sewing

"I hear you calling"
A telephone shakes vigorously, perhaps ringing amid an earthquake

"Oh baby, please, give a little respect to me"
Andy Bell and Vince Clarke frolic around some massive letters, which are not yet fully apparent but we can probably guess

"I hear you calling"
An audio speaker is spray painted silver to make the sound go faster

"Oh baby, please, give a little respect to me"
The camera pulls out and we can see Andy Bell and Vince Clarke hanging round some absolutely huge letters spelling the word RESPECT, shredding any vestiges of meaning from the word "little", and finally leading to a letter-stealing Vince taking the "P" in what is perhaps the best metaphor of the whole video

Decapitated Seals and Adamski's skinned llama: remembering Killer

In May 1990, Adamski's Killer knocked Madonna's Vogue off the top spot of the UK singles chart. Madge was too concerned with Greta Garbo and Rita Hayworth, and didn't see the keyboard wizard sneaking up from behind.

Killer wasn't just a breath of fresh air: it was a fully-bellowed gust up the jacksie. It was clearly informed by Adamski's rave DJing, but that bass drum / bassline combo was something new. The Italo-house piano, the 909, the bit where Seal's voice goes "be-ee-e-ee". So good.

The track was recorded amid noisy protests over the Tories' anti-rave legislation. Seal was a penniless singer, while Adamski was relying on the government's Enterprise Allowance Scheme (as was I around that time). Lots of dance music felt politically charged. Killer seemed to suck in all that energy, then blast it out in a fully clubby and commercial way.

Watch the original verson with decapitated Seals, young Adamski wearing a skinned llama, and. um. some random science lab tech things.

The track was a huge smash. Only four artists outsold Adamski that year: the Righteous Brothers, Sinéad O'Connor, Elton John and king of all rappers Vanilla Ice. The single hit number one in Zimbabwe and Belgium and — wait for it — hit number 112 in Australia. 

George Michael's bland version brought the track back to UK number one in 1993. I was horrified. It sounded like yer dad discovering your rave records and putting on a live entertainment night with a buffet. Still, I was obsessed with Killer and bought every subsequent cover / remix on vinyl. Even the George Michael one. Sigh.

Here's Seal and Adamski appearing on Top of the Pops on Christmas Day 1990. No jeans and a t-shirt with these two. Just look at them. Adamski looks like a little peroxide tearaway and Seal looks like a gymnast biker. Both are in full live flow, with Adamski taking bits of his other tracks and throwing it all into the mix. Brilliant.

Further Fats: Finding healthy pop wheat amid the pop forest fire of, um, doom (2014)

Further Fats: The 7 best moments in Ryan Wyer's video for Aphex Twin's CIRKLON3 [ Колхозная mix ] (2016)

Calvin Harris launching an acid house project is the biggest music news of all time

Calvin Harris launching an acid house project called Love Regenerator is the biggest music news of all time.

This is like One Direction relaunching as a thrash metal band. Or like The Beatles returning as a drum 'n' bass act. Or like Jive Bunny revealing that all the music was made by actual bunnies.

Last month's Love Regenerator 1 EP hit a million streams in just three days. It was apologetically clubby, summoning the spirit of acid pioneers Phuture and so much more. We're talking fat pianos, liquid breaks, choppy vocal samples and filter-tweakin' squelchy goodness. All the best of the underground 1980s and 1990s.

Like a worm with an embarrassing zit, acid house has remained defiantly underground. We've had Voodoo Ray, Josh Wink and S'Express, but all of this was a long time ago. Justin Bieber was still in Calvin Klein nappies when Higher State of Consciousness was released.

So when the biggest DJ in the universe (probably) goes acid house, this is big news. It could mean the first mainstream exposure of acid house for 25 years. Imagine the BBC News at Six being presented by a Tamagotchi. THAT'S how much of a revival this is.

In the words of A Guy Called Gerald's 1989 top 20 hit Voodoo Ray:

"Ooh-oo-hoo ah-ha ha yeah
He-hey-ya hey-yah ah-ha ooh hey-yah ah-ha ooh"

Exactly, Gezza. That's exactly how I feel.

Calvin Harris has a second Love Regenerator EP arriving later this week. I'm not sure we can cope with this. It's like the earth being struck with two dinosaur-destroying meteors rather than one. The shockwave of this second EP will be so ground-shaking, no-one else will make any music for months.

Harris has been previewing bits on his Instagram and I can declare that, in the parlance of modern youth, it is banging. Proper banging and no mistake, missus. I'm sorry if my street talk is alarming to you, but I am well cool.

Unless Def Leppard return as a KLF tribute act, Calvin Harris going acid house remains the biggest music news of all time.



Further Fats: I love acid and the acid loves me (2015)

Further Fats: "Acid house - it's not real music, is it" said the idiot (2019)

You'll enjoy these endearing FruityLoops versions of banging electronic music tunes

There's a knob-twiddler on YouTube who's been posting FruityLoops version of New Order songs.

"Knob-twiddler" is not a technical term, but instead is a nickname for people who like to experiment making electronic music. "FruityLoops" is indeed a proper term, in fact it's music-making software that's enjoyed something of a renaissance thanks to its users including Avicii, Basshunter and Timmy Mallett.

I lied about Timmy Mallett.

The YouTube user is called Mkaymufc and they are a New Order nut. Because they are using presets and some pretty basic plug-ins, their instrumental YouTube covers of Bernard & chums are not as well produced as the originals. That's like comparing a crayon drawing of a warthog stuck to your bathroom cabinet to a real warthog furiously trying to mate with your bathroom sink's overflow pipehole. You'll never get it in, Porkles. YOU'LL NEVER GET IT IN.

However, what is delightful is what Mkaymufc does with their limitations: there are some pretty detailed covers here, full of heart. There's something so comforting about a Midi-quality bass drum in a era of over-production. And like a cat following a laser along a carpet, you can watch it play along from start to finish in FruityLoops (now called FL Studio).

Sometimes it doesn't work: Electronic's Soviet doesn't come across well. But I loved Some Distant Memory (that Oboe's so cute!). New Order's Bizarre Love Triangle is brilliant, as is their take on Orbital's Kein Trink Wasser. It was an Orbital tweet that brought these videos to my attention. Sometimes the drawing is as enchanting as the real thing.

Here's Bizarre Love Triangle. Enjoy.

🔘 A PRODUCTION COVER OF OUR SONG KEIN TRINK WASSER BY MKAYMUFC 🔘 pic.twitter.com/fy9b1CDYXU

— Orbital (@orbitalband) December 27, 2019

Happy 909 day

Happy 909 day, everyone. Here's a pair of hands singing cutely over some Roland TR-909 rhythms.



And if that's not enough, here's a video of someone jamming on the 909, posted earlier today.



What do you mean you want more? Oh alright then. Here's Daft Punk's 1998 single Revolution 909, which missed out on the top 40 in the week Brimful Of Asha made its debut at the top of the charts. Good track, but it's no Revolution 909.



Photo: VintageSynth.com

An acid-tweaking return for 808 State

One of this summer’s bestest things is the return of 808 State.

You might know 808 State from that saxophone thing they did back in the olden days. They also helped define modern techno through the rise of Detroit house and the Hacienda. Wikipedia also says 808's Graham Massey was a member of the Barbie Girl Danish pop band Aqua, but I’m pretty sure they’re linking to the wrong Aqua there.

The band’s comeback album is Transmission Suite - their first for seventeen years. In the past, they’ve blurted out quite dense techno, but this new material feels looser. It’s acid-tweakin’ paranoid rave gubbins by grizzled Mancunians who get drug flashbacks when taking their Rennie’s. Sometimes old ravers slow down, but there’s plenty of improvisational energy in this new material.

They recorded it at the old Granada studios in Manchester, formerly home to TV broadcasts like Coronation Street, World In Action and, er, The Chase. The nicest thing is you can feel Manchester’s club history running through Transmission Suite like day-glo varicose veins: it’s giving me flashbacks of gigs at the Boardwalk and Sankeys Soap.

There's also a strong feeling of paranoia in their new work - very appropriate for our current times, I think. Have a nosey at their moody video for Tokyo Tokyo and you'll see what I mean.



Further Fats: RIP Tony Wilson aka "Mr Manchester" 33AD to 2007AD inclusive (2007)

Further Fats: How do you solve a problem like Madchester (and Fac251)? (2010)

The Pet Shop Boys and Madonna: Into The Minimal Groove

Not that I haven't got a life or anything, but I have spent many hours searching for the perfect Pet Shop Boys mashup.

You remember mashups. Songs that have been cut-and-shut together, like a Mini Metro welded to a Transit Van: totally unofficial, sometimes ugly, potential death trap.

I think I have found the perfect PSB mashup, and it comes from the bottom drawer of their back catalogue. Into The Minimal Groove mixes Minimal (Tocadisco's Sunday At Space Remix) with Madonna's Into The Groove.

Whoever did this spent a lot of time working on Madge's vocals. They work brilliantly over a track that likes to take its time: it's full of surprises.

And like my dodgy cover version of Carly Rae Jepson, they've kept the title hook until much later in the track - it's five minutes before Madonna says "get into the groove", and even then it almost passes by unnoticed. A deliberate trick to neutralise the original track to make something new and interesting.

I can't stop listening to it. You could say.... ahem... [steps closer to microphone] that I have very much got into its groove.

There's a video of sorts, which you can watch here.

Seven Inch at the 2019 Edinburgh Fringe

My third Edinburgh Fringe show will debut on August 1st 2019, running for 14 dates as part of the Laughing Horse free festival.

I'm adapting my Lowry show Seven Inch, turning a grand theatre production into something more up-close and personal suitable for the Fringe. I will be able to see the whites of your nostrils.

The show is set in the last record shop still standing, in which I examine life through not-so-teenage kicks. Actually, it's an excuse for me to be silly for an hour, show off stupid cartoons, and to infect your brain with forgettable (and unforgettable) pop music.

It's not been officially announced yet, but how could I not share this video with you?

Knob-twiddling and Salad Fingers

Things have been quiet around here because I've been under the weather, literally because of the proximity of the sky, and also metaphorically.

So here is a bit of audio and a lot of a video to keep you entertained.

Underworld have posted a 2005 as-live studio session of Twist, from their A Hundred Days Off album, and it sounds pretty sweet. It's free to download too.



David Firth has plopped all the old Salad Fingers episodes onto YouTube, now including more recent ones. It's as sinister as you remember, and of course the soundtrack is excellent.



I advise looping the two simultaneously and see what happens. In the meantime, I shall try my very best to get well soon.

MIA's Paper Planes sung by 210 movies

All I wanna do is watch this painstakingly edited video of the lyrics of MIA's 2008 single Paper Planes using clips from films.

Extra points for the creative interpretation of the chorus's sound effects - and for having an actual paper planes montage.

This track is so iconic, and gave us one of the best comedy show titles. It's hard to believe it only reached number 19 in the charts when it was released.

It took a couple of months for MTV to censor its gunshot chorus. They were probably distracted the other 'controversial' song in the charts at the time: Katy Perry's much more successful debut single about (shock horror) kissing a girl. Sigh.

5 great new dance hits from January 1989

Nothing like a bit of UK chart perusing for these cold winter nights. Here are some dance music hit singles that made their first chart appearance 30 years ago, in the month of January 1989 - also known as the month Kylie & Jason ruled the charts.

1. Cookie Crew - Born This Way (Let's Dance)

"Black is the word." The Rok Da House rappers hit the charts on New Year's Day with Born This Way and rose to number 23. The title was later copied by Lady Gaga and by the cast of Glee.



2. Royal House - Yeah! Buddy

Todd Terry's the chap who turned Everything But The Girl into a dancefloor hit. Here he is in 1989 tearing up the dancefloor and the chart, scoring the second of two top 40 hits under this particular alias.



3. Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock - Get On The Dance Floor

Although It Takes Two was Rob Base and E-Z's signature song, Get On The Dance Floor was the bigger chart hit, entering at number 30 on 8th January 1989 and peaking at number 14, a couple of places above Milli Vanilli.



4. Turntable Orchestra - You're Gonna Miss Me

I must admit, I don't remember this one, even though it uses as its beat the "In My House" breakdown on the Pet Shop Boy's remixed Always On My Mind. Anyway, there it is, scoring a tiny number 52 hit in the middle of January 1989.



5. DJ Fast Eddie - Hip House / I Can Dance

This veteran Chicago house producer reached number 47 with this double a-side at the end of January 1989. It should have been a bigger hit, with all that lovely acid.

Visiting Rival Consoles' jellyfish space beach

I've been spinning the new Rival Consoles album recently, if Spotify tracks spin, that is.

Rival Consoles is a London synth bloke and he was the first ever signing on the trouser-flappingly influential Erased Tapes label. This year's Ingmar Bergman-inspired Persona album is currently on constant repeat in chez Fat Roland.

Here are two videos. Firstly, as an appetiser, the unhurried ambience of Untravel, accompanied by a video set on some kind of jellyfish space beach (pictured). And then, there's Hidden, which is a corker and no mistake.





Further Fats: Watching space from inside papier mâché (2016)

Further Fats: No more harrumphs: Kiasmos are back (2017)

Too long, didn't watch? Jon Hopkins' new video for Singularity

For those who are simply too busy to watch a whole video, here's what happens in the new Jon Hopkins promo for Singularity, directed by Seb Edwards.

Spoilers.

Bloke comes back from the newsagents. Stands in a puddle for a bit. A woman listens to his leather jacket. They pretend they're Torvill and Dean and she's like, shut up, I'm that Peep Show guy doing Flashdance. And he's like, let me go into this other room to see what's there. He checks the radiator's on. We never find out if the radiator's on. After a bit of a spin, they pop into the woods for a fag.

I think that covers it.

Pop-up Fat Roland - some upcoming gigs

Hello there, internet. I've done another video. It's a bit like a serial killer doing another murder but, er, you can subscribe to my nefarious feeds.

You'll never catch me, rozzers. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha etc...

This one's about some upcoming gigs, but it's not just bland promotion. Honest. It's got spiders in! Actually, I lied, there are no spiders but watch it anyway. Thanks.

Top Four Tips Of Writing Good

Do you like words? Do you like making words with a pen, or perhaps with a keyboard?

Here are some writing tips in the form of a brand new video I've recorded and edited (below). It's only two minutes long and it's hardly sophisticated, but it took me about six weeks to make. Lawks. Please, Gods Of Simple Animation, make the next one quicker. The music you hear in the background is also by me, using my magical musical fingers.

It's all a load of stupid, but for people doing creative writing, there are pretty solid tips in here. I'm your mother, sneaking in vegetables with distraction techniques.

Open wide...

From ammunition tunnels to veganism: it's Orbital's PHUK

Yesterday, I flapped on about ancient techno titans Underworld's new single. On a related note, Orbital are back with a track called PHUK (see video below).

According to this interview with Consequence of Sound, PHUK is about:

> bankers
> demons
> Brexit
> empire
> ammunition tunnels
> the 1990s
> middle age
> veganism
> inclusivity
> trousers

I may have made that last one up, although I'm pretty sure PHUK stands for "Paul Hartnoll, Underpants Killer."

Their new album Monsters Exist is out in mid-September. It features the voice of Professor Brian Cox, which I presume is him just going "wow, these synthesisers are amazing, they've got buttons, look at the buttons".

How do you write a theatre show? #SevenInch vlog 4

How the heck do you write a theatre show? I've come up with an amazing hack. Here's how to write a one-person theatre production instantly, with as little effort as possible.

Ahem.

This is a roundabout way of saying my two-date Week 53 festival run at The Lowry is now a four date run. Pilter some lovely new Fat Roland: Seven Inch tickets here.

What can we learn from Eric Morecambe's paper bag trick?

We all know Eric Morecambe was a special talent, and his partnership with Ernie Wise is pretty much universally acclaimed. The glasses waggle. The stripper song at breakfast. The speeding 'ice cream van'. All the right notes, not necessarily in the right order.

But when analysing the depth of someone's performance skill, I don't think the big routines are enough. As with Les Dawson's tiny glances off camera, Morecambe made the best of his talent in the small stuff.

Take his paper bag routine, as seen in this video. Skip past the David Frost stuff and watch Morecambe and Wise on stage in Croydon.

Eric's laughing at Ernie's song. Some ad-libbing about Eric's wig. Earnest carries on in, er, earnest as Eric gets out the paper bag. The audience is laughing because they've seen it before. It's a signature Eric prop. Eric begins to catch the imaginary ball, as the ever-straight Ernie presses on with the "singing, folks".

Then comes the twist: Ernie grabs the bag, and of course, he fails to replicate the trick. And then a lovely bit of audience interaction which gifts Ernie the funniest set-up line of the routine, where the bag itself becomes a pun.

But hold on. Rewind. We've skipped my favourite bit. It's a part of the routine that lasts ten whole seconds, but you wouldn't notice it because the Sooty line distracted you.

After Eric laughs at the Sooty line, he decides to get out his trusty paper bag. He's half-ignoring his partner as his attention wanders. The paper bag will liven things up, he thinks. Eric then reaches into the wrong pocket. Eric then reaches into the wrong pocket.

Morecambe knows exactly which pocket the paper bag is in - watch him retrieve it with ease back in the Frost studio. Yet he has the confidence to bumble clumsily for the bag while the routine picks up pace. This is the same Eric who trips over nothing, who flinches at imaginary goosings, who second-guesses everything for that extra laugh. It's the same Eric who asks Ernie to move along the sofa, then sits on the chair instead. An inexhaustible supply of sleights.

His deliberate mistake elevates his performance into something that's deeper than the big-hitting gags and comedic face slaps. Every time I watch that routine, I'm so grateful for the moment of Cooper-esque humanity. If Eric can make an error, albeit very small, then I'm okay too.

Except it's not an error. It's pure professional dexterity that keeps the audience hooked. All performers can learn from this. What extra can you do between the things that are there to be noticed? What can add a pleasing ripple as we go from A to B?

All the right moves, exactly in the right order.

This Bonobo / Kiasmos video is definitely better than "weird and trippy"

I've not had much time to post this month, so have some hold music.

It's a Bonobo remix of Blurred by Kiasmos. I've woofed on about Kiasmos before: you can read about the original release of Blurred here. And Bonobo did a good video a while back which I called "weird and trippy" because I was short of words that day.

This Blurred video came out a couple of months ago, and sets the rousing remix to a Faroese love story. The directors Arni & Kinski did a load of stuff with Sigur Ros, including Hoppipolla, so you know the vibe before you even put a donk on that play button. You'll want to hit repeat - it's wonderful.

Bibio: music for a snowy day

All the snow fell from the sky and now everything's white.

But not good white. Not the kind of white you can colour in with a crayon like in a book. This is a cold white made of sky fluff. You just have to look at it and wait for it to turn to slush.

In honour of all the snow everywhere, here's a haunting video by Bibio. It was posted on Christmas Day last year, which definitely was not snowy, and is from their ambient album Phantom Brickworks.