There's a "post your replies" meme flapping around Facebook at the moment where you bang on about gigs you've been to and no-one reads it because no-one cares what gigs you've been to.
So I thought I'd use it as the basis of a blog post.
First concert? James at GMEX, 1993, with Radiohead supporting. HOW COOL AM I??!?!? I'd seen a stack of smaller things before that, most likely Christian artists because I was a good church boy back then, and I'd been a music columnist since 1991 so I'd no doubt seen a tonne of local bands. James was the first one I remember, and it's also the one that makes me look coolest, but it was probably my 50th gig and the reality is that I really can't remember my first gig.
Latest concert? It was a couple of friends bands a few days ago: Geisterhouse and Rickerly. Geisterhouse is an angular man with an angular guitar, and Rickerly is a masked spirit who oozes samples. They're both great.
Next concert? When I wrote this, it was Plaid this coming Saturday. However, Saturday's now been and gone due to the rules of time, so it's probably the Subliminal Impulse festival.
Best concert? Almost impossible to say. There was Pulp's Common People tour, and Flaming Lips at Jodrell Bank, and Smashing Pumpkins making the Manchester (Nynex!) Arena feel small, and the Manics doing similar in the same venue, and there's almost every Orbital gig since 1995, and a zillion Bjork gigs, and the Chemical Brothers back in the day, and Blame & Bukem, and Jon flipping Hopkins. It also has to be said that Kylie puts on an astonishing show too.
Worst concert? I used to be a full-time music journalist so could probably list a hundred names here. I accidentally saw Ocean Colour Scene once and that was a dark day.
Who have you seen most? No surprise here when I say Orbital: I first saw them at Tribal Gathering in ye olden days, and most recently had my ears blasted off at the Manchester Apollo. Also I kept getting free tickets to the Levellers back in the 1990s, so them too. Levellers! Remember them? Oh my.
Best concert venue? I have a soft spot for Manchester Apollo, but I have to give a shout out to smaller venues like Hidden, The Peer Hat and Aatma.
Worst concert venue? A place in Preston that made farts out of Orbital's bass sound, can't remember the name. That said, I bought Orbital's brown album in 1993 on the strength of an NME review which praised one of the tracks for sounding like an "extended fart", or words of that ilk.
Who have you not seen but want to? I never saw The Fall despite numerous chances to. And New Order, who I may or may not have seen due to the fogginess of my raving days but I don't think so. And PJ Harvey. I could just list band names here. Pink Floyd. Bananarama. Madonna. Are you even reading this? Westlife. The Cheeky Girls. Crazy Frog.
Ultimately, you don't care what gigs I've been to: it's such a personal thing, seeing all that stuff with your eyes, feeling all that bass in your gut. Still. Let me know your first concert experience in the comments below or by tweeting me at @FatRoland, especially if it is extra cool or extra embarrassing.
Jun 24, 2019
May 31, 2019
Fat Roland's top ten comfort listens - 1: Richard H Kirk's Virtual State
Number 1 in my top ten comfort-listens is Richard H Kirk's Virtual State
Album name: Virtual State
Artist: Richard H Kirk
Additional note: This is the last post in this mini blog series - see all the rest here. I should have included Aphex Twin, The Orb and Global Communication in this list, but all three demand closer listening even if it's something I've heard a zillion times like Selected Ambient Works, and the whole point of this series is about background listening without paying too much attention. Also, you can pretty much shuffle this entire top ten. Righto - carry on...
Who they sound like according to Spotify's recommendations: A lovely pair of woolly trousers.... actually it doesn't say that, but Spotify's recommendations are pretty weak
Most comforting musical element: The memory of playing this on vinyl over and over again, alongside Autechre's Incunabula, without - at that stage - knowing much about either artist
Least comforting musical element: The fact that Kirk's had so many aliases and projects (Cabaret Voltaire, Sandoz, Electronic Eye, Sweet Exorcist), the chances are you're listening to Richard H Kirk AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT
What it's like being smothered by (in a good way): A lovely, heaving, moist Fat Roland, possibly lubricated with Lurpak
Comfort food it should be paired with: A lovely salad - you've had far too much comfort food during this blog series and you're looking a little green around the gills
Public figure I would recommend this album to so they can chill the heck out: None of them: I'm keeping this album all to myself, so important was it to me back in t'day
What the opposite of this album sounds like: A basket of puppies being poured into a shredder, or perhaps a baby hippo in a blender, or maybe a giraffe entangled in the mechanical jaws of a city-destroying megabot - basically, anything that's horrible
Click here to see the comfort listening series in full - thanks for reading.
Fat Roland's top ten comfort listens - 2: The Radio Dogma podcast
Number 2 in my top ten comfort-listens is The Black Dog's Radio Dogma
Podcast name: Radio Dogma
Artist: The Black Dog
Who they sound like according to Spotify's recommendations: Ah! Shut up! It's a podcast! Fooled you! In your FACE, stupid question-setter!
Most comforting musical element: The quality of the collated tunes, and the continual warmth even when they get dark
Least comforting musical element: When you're trying to concentrate, the talking gets in the way, but I'm sure The Black Dog don't sit in their studio thinking "better make sure we don't throw Fat Roland off his macramé"
What it's like being smothered by (in a good way): A couple of gruff old techno-heads from Sheffield, proper rubbing up against you, they are - one of them's wearing a really itchy poncho
Comfort food it should be paired with: A Sheffield egg, which is a Sheffield-centric egg encased in sausage meat, cheese, relish, breadcrumbs and steel dining forks
Public figure I would recommend this album to so they can chill the heck out: All those other bloody idiots who do bad things on podcasts: poor editing, poor mic control, eating on mic, going on mic with a sniffly cold, waffling on too long, not listening to answers, talking over each other, doing endless intro segments, bad music... you all need to be more like The Black Dog
What the opposite of this album sounds like: Nighttime on the New Zealand north island village of Papatowai, which is directly on the opposite side of the Earth to Sheffield (geography for the win)
Click here to see the comfort listening series in full.
Fat Roland's top ten comfort listens - 3: Sun Electric's Present
Number 3 in my top ten comfort-listens is Sun Electric's Present
Album name: Present
Artist: Sun Electric
Who they sound like according to Spotify's recommendations: Mariah Carey and Megadeth... only joking... Global Communication, System 7, The Orb
Most comforting musical element: It sort of glistens, like a beautifully packaged parcel of molten hot iron
Least comforting musical element: Aaaargh, too hot, aaaaargh, too hot, I'm burning, I'm burning
What it's like being smothered by (in a good way): This album was off my radar and I only really got into it a couple of years ago (Kitchen was always my preferred Sun Electric album), so it's like being smothered by a long-lost uncle who you're not entirely sure is your uncle but he has that look in his eyes so you carry on pretending he's definitely your uncle
Comfort food it should be paired with: A sausage and chorizo pasta bake thrown into the fiery heart of the sun
Public figure I would recommend this album to so they can chill the heck out: Normski - whatever happened to Normski? Or maybe Neil out of Art Attack. Someone you'd forgotten about but now really want to meet
What the opposite of this album sounds like: An overly-familiar part of your body, like the back of your hand, or your athlete's foot, or your gangrenous third nipple
Click here to see the comfort listening series in full.
Fat Roland's top ten comfort listens - 4: Autechre's Incunabula
Number 4 in my top ten comfort-listens is Autechre's Incunabula
Album name: Incunabula (rhymes with parabola) (probably)
Artist: Autechre
Who they sound like according to Spotify's recommendations: AFX, Squarepusher, μ-Ziq
Most comforting musical element: Autechre were so different here: just listen to those lingering chords
Least comforting musical element: The week this was released, Mr Blobby entered the charts for the first time - COINCIDENCE?!
What it's like being smothered by (in a good way): Something old and textured, like a very nice elephant or a grandpa dressed as a Christmas tree
Comfort food it should be paired with: A lovely slice of old pizza you found behind your oven (just blow the mould off, it'll be fine)
Public figure I would recommend this album to so they can chill the heck out: All the candidates in the Tory leadership contest, as long as they listened inside their own toilets and didn't come out ever again
What the opposite of this album sounds like: Blobbyyyy, oh Mr Blobby, if only you could make us understaaaand....
Click here to see the comfort listening series in full.
Fat Roland's top ten comfort listens - 5: Bicep's Bicep
Number 5 in my top ten comfort-listens is Bicep's Bicep
Album name: Bicep
Artist: Bicep
Who they sound like according to Spotify's recommendations: I'm not even going to bother because they don't mention Bonobo once, which is ridiculous
Most comforting musical element: Those icicle-sharp hi-hats that send a shiver up your nose
Least comforting musical element: The blokes from Bicep who have nipped round to poke an icicle up your schnozzle
What it's like being smothered by (in a good way): Nostalgia, but not creepy family photograph nostalgia: good nostalgia, like early MySpace or your YouTube uploads from ten years ago
Comfort food it should be paired with: That ice-cream with the marshallow chunks in, but nothing too salty, thanks, in fact I'll just have a Viennetta
Public figure I would recommend this album to so they can chill the heck out: Anyone overdoing the whole keyboard-warrior bullying on Twitter instead of using their significant following to celebrate their legacy such as, for example, IT-themed sitcoms
What the opposite of this album sounds like: A life without nostalgia: a country without a past, a person without a back-story, a computer without a search history
Click here to see the comfort listening series in full.
Fat Roland's top ten comfort listens - 6: Bola's Soup
Number 6 in my top ten comfort-listens is Bola's Soup.
Album name: Soup
Artist: Bola
Who they sound like according to Spotify's recommendations: Arovane, Brothomstates, Kettel (where really they should just list Boards of Canada)
Most comforting musical element: It's exactly the right level of chill
Least comforting musical element: The title pun (bowl o' soup)
What it's like being smothered by (in a good way): Soup, but room-temperature soup because a piping hot minestrone is going to take your face off
Comfort food it should be paired with: Soup, obviously soup, just plain old soup, not soup and a bread roll, just the soup, no you may NOT sprinkle it in herbs
Public figure I would recommend this album to so they can chill the heck out: Joey Essex because he once did a soup advert, which is very much something I just had to google
What the opposite of this album sounds like: What's the antonym for soup? Just some ingredients laid out in a line, entirely separate, i.e. some tomatoes or a mushroom, I really feel there was something else I was meant to be writing about here...
Click here to see the comfort listening series in full.
Fat Roland's top ten comfort listens - 7: B12's Electro-Soma
Number 7 in my top ten comfort-listens is B12's Electro-Soma.
Album name: Electro-Soma
Artist: B12
Who they sound like according to Spotify's recommendations: The Black Dog, Two Lone Swordsmen, LFO
Most comforting musical element: The completeness of the album, which is remarkable considering how it was patched together
Least comforting musical element: Nothing, shut up with your stupid question, this is a bang-to-rights classic, and slightly makes up for the face I've included no Aphex Twin in this list
What it's like being smothered by (in a good way): A hundred androids with their soft, stroking metal hands and tickly jagged antenna.
Comfort food it should be paired with: A nice bucket of circuit boards sprinkled with that spicy red salt everyone seems to like these days
Public figure I would recommend this album to so they can chill the heck out: Deckard out of Blade Runner because I believe he had trouble with a few androids and this album makes robots sound kinda okay
What the opposite of this album sounds like: This album is the diametric opposite of beardy folk music, which as we all know is the worst kind of music
Click here to see the comfort listening series in full.
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