I'm fed up having to explain Squarepusher to drones who are too busy bopping to Pink to succumb to the clanky magic of drill n' bass.
And so it goes:
My boss: I need to get into your log-in. What's your password?
My boss: Square pusher? That sounds like some sad kind of dance.
Me: No, he's a, er, he's the guy that does... erm... you can't really hum his tunes but...
For my own future reference as much as anything, and in celebration of his new album Just A Souvenier (in shops next week but already in at Bleep), here are a list of ways I shall refer to Squarepusher from now on:
1. A nail-bomb thrown into a skip, which in turn is being humped by R2D2.
2. An iron bin full of iron filings being rolled down a hill made of iron.
3. Six hundred beards trapped in the Large Hadron Collidor.
4. Exploding wheelchairs.
5. A jazz bassist being attacked by a wasp.
6. A wasp being attacked by a jazz bassist.
7. Spiders scurrying over your face while you're dreaming about fluffy penguins.
8. An army of hammers. Laughing.
9. Protesters throwing Amen break samples at a Chris De Burgh concert.
10. A bit like Aphex Twin but not very.
I should point out, for career reasons, that my boss is a very nice man and has never bopped to Pink in his life. He does, however, have cacking awful music taste.
Oh and the cheery Squarepusher design above is a great poster from Standard Motion.