Oct 19, 2008

Exploding wheelchairs: how to explain Squarepusher to normal people

I'm fed up having to explain Squarepusher to drones who are too busy bopping to Pink to succumb to the clanky magic of drill n' bass.

And so it goes:

My boss: I need to get into your log-in. What's your password?

Me: Squarepusher.

My boss: Square pusher? That sounds like some sad kind of dance.

Me: No, he's a, er, he's the guy that does... erm... you can't really hum his tunes but...


For my own future reference as much as anything, and in celebration of his new album Just A Souvenier (in shops next week but already in at Bleep), here are a list of ways I shall refer to Squarepusher from now on:

1. A nail-bomb thrown into a skip, which in turn is being humped by R2D2.

2. An iron bin full of iron filings being rolled down a hill made of iron.

3. Six hundred beards trapped in the Large Hadron Collidor.

4. Exploding wheelchairs.

5. A jazz bassist being attacked by a wasp.

6. A wasp being attacked by a jazz bassist.

7. Spiders scurrying over your face while you're dreaming about fluffy penguins.

8. An army of hammers. Laughing.

9. Protesters throwing Amen break samples at a Chris De Burgh concert.

10. A bit like Aphex Twin but not very.

I should point out, for career reasons, that my boss is a very nice man and has never bopped to Pink in his life. He does, however, have cacking awful music taste.

Oh and the cheery Squarepusher design above is a great poster from Standard Motion.


Anonymous said...

Don't waste your time trying to get Pink fans into Squarepusher, or any form of decent music. It's a waste of breath/energy/finger skin expended on typing.

I on the other hand, have been curious about Squarepusher for some time but not known where to start. Suggestions please!...

Midnight Candle said...

No more Fatotograph? :(

Fat Roland said...

Simon: start with his 2006 Hello Everything, which was probably the most accessible album he'd done for a while. I rate 1998's Music Is Rotted One Note as a good introduction as well. For singles, listen to Red Hot Car, Vic Acid and Welcome To Europe. Oh and everyone else reading this... listen to Simon's radio show!

Nat: Fatotograph was all about me blogging from my mobile. My creativity liked it - my bank balance didn't! (Thanks for that, T-Mobile.)

9/10ths Full of Penguins said...

Hmmm - pushing squares......

Like the new design by the way...

Fat Roland said...

9/10ths: Yes, the design is an expression of 20th century neo-Edwardian revivalism mixed with south Berlin fashionistic minimalistica, with more than a liberal sprinkling of me clicking on a random blogger template.

Sarah said...


There's nothing wrong with liking Pink. It may not be your sort of thing but I don't care. It's not bad music, it's just not to your taste.

And that goes for you too Simon. I would have words with you about it on Tuesday but I'll have forgotten by then.

Fat Roland said...

Pink can be quite good, very good in fact, despite her annoying tendency to release below-par singles.

It's just that Squarepusher is far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far better. Only not as sassy.

Anonymous said...

Having listened to Just A Souvenir I think you need to add: 11. Not at all like Squarepusher

Fat Roland said...

It's like some crazy jazz vibe. I think I can hear some Music Is Rotted One Note in there.

Anonymous said...

There's definitely echoes of Rotted One Note and the classical guitar from Ultravisitor, but where on earth did A Real Woman, Planet Gear or Delta-V come from? They made me smile though just for being different :)