Jun 30, 2012

Thirteen things I should have blogged about in June but didn't

The Stone Roses reunion and how I was convinced it would never happen.

Pendulum have split. Skrillex has been riffing on Miles Davis with The Doors. Is Justin Biebpipe now the future of dirty-bass dubstep?

How best to avoid tax if you're a pop star - without having to pay those stiff-shirted accountants. Mattresses are go!

Are Muse still alive? Yes, the news says they are: look, there they are competing with Usain Bolt in the Olympics. But are they really, or are they zombies as we all suspected?

Now they are no more, how to make your own Swedish House Mafia track using the contents of your dishwasher and a hammer.

The latest Squarepusher (pictured) album.

Radio 1 playing hip hop in Hackney. Whatever next? Radio 4 having some actual comedy? Humus not having all that extra crap like peppers in? JEEZ.

Maroon 5 finally get a UK number one single after eight years of trying. Why *this* is the day that music died.

Pop is dead. CDs are dead. Rock is dead. Noise is dead. Dead is dead. This sentence is dead.

Does 'bon' really mean 'good'? Really? I ask Bon Jovi, Bon Iver, Simon Le Bon, Bono and Boney M. And when I say "ask", I mean "leave rambling, drunken messages on the answerphones of".

The latest Clark (not pictured) album.

Why I should have gone to see NKOTBSB and how I think they should have got together with PSB and LMFAO and played YMCA.

A review of the UK number one singles so far this year a.k.a. me weeping into the tortured carcass of a buffalo looking for meaning in a once-great culture and only finding deflating stomach gas.


Anonymous said...

You forgot "Why David Guetta is the future of dance music" or is that, like, soooo last month

Fat Roland said...

Jeez. David Guetta is *so* June 21st. I mean, like, I woke up on June 22nd and I was like David Guetta is *so* yesterday and I was like Deadmau5, who's even heard of Deadmau5 anyway, and like jeez Skrillex is so *in* again but like in a post-modern way.