Nov 15, 2004

The X-Factor and the end-times apocalypse

Nostradamus predicted it, the JWs live by it, and it has finally arrived.

The signs have been here for some time, but the biggest portent of doom happened on Saturday night. Voices With Soul got voted out of the X-Factor. They were clearly the best performers there, as this brief precis of the remaining contestants shows:

a) Rowetta = mad as hatter
b) Steve = smug Michael Bolton
c) G4 = Richard Clayderman with voices instead of a piano
d) Thingy = Stereophonics
e) The other one = who?!?

VWS believe in Jesus. They even changed the lyrics of their song to make it holier. Who said they had put on the best performance of the series and therefore cursed them forever? Sharon Osbourne, who is in fact married to the devil.

This isn't the first time this has happened. God-lover Gareth Gates lost out to Will Young, who is one of them homosatchels. Apparently he smiles at other men. Gates reacted to the defeat by defiling Jordan, which is a very important river in the Bible.

Even Jesus' best friend, Cliff Richard, came second in the 1968 Eurovision song contest to a ditty called La La La, and we all know what "la la la" means don't we?!?! (No - Blogger ed)

Will the only successful Christian musician continue to be just Daniel Bedingfield? Or will the Cheeky Girls get converted? Only time will tell, but there isn't a lot of it left and I can hear trumpets in the distance...

...oh no, my mistake, it's just bloomin' 2 To Go.

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