Pancake Day, National Novel Writing Month, Healthy Eating Day, National Ketamine Month.
These are events to be respected and celebrated. Especially the last one.
That's why I'm standing on the steps of my palace, gleaming trumpet in hand, and declaring March the National Month Of The Whip.
I caught their barnstormer Trash on XFM whilst me and a few chums were bombing it down to Wales this weekend. Whilst there is every excuse to gnash teeth and rip clothes at the demise of a great radio station, there is every reason to be optimistic for The Whip.
The Whip are the best thing to come out of Manchester since Doves. They're like Gary Numan and Underworld falling into a blender, being poured into Apollo 440's cup, topped with Daft Punk's nuts, and drunk by New Order's Peter Hook.
You can boogie with them at The Warehouse Project on March 21st or buy their debut long-player X Marks Destination two weeks today.
Or you can ogle them in a cracking performance (whip, crack, geddit?) at last year's DPercussion in this here video link here.
I really should buy some fancier robes for announcements of national significance. These are covered in cat hairs.
*the actual line is "I have become the trigger for your gun" but this didn't fit into the space. Editorial decision. Or summat.