Blood sugar synths felines: some almost-recent tracks worth your attention

The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Didn't expect that, did you? Red Hot Chili Peppers. There, I said it again.

No, I'm not talking about the tongue-busting offspring of plants from the genus Capsicum, members of the nightshade family, Solanasomething-or-other. I'm talking about the wiley shirtless guitar plodders who appear to have gone afro pop.

Actually, I'm taking about John Frusciante, who dumped the Chilis in 2007 but has now turned up as one part of Speed Dealer Moms with legendary bass-driller Venetian Snares. This is a live experimental project consisting of those boys, Chris McDonald, a bunch of drum machines (gear, pictured) and, in the band's words, "many cats".

Their first release is the Speed Dealer Moms EP, a short and bitter chunk of tapping distracto-grooves recorded as-live in 2010 that will frighten Chili poppers but may sound somewhat familiar to Snares followers.

While I'm perusing recent tracks (mainly from the end of last year), I've been addicted to Rafferties's Rank Functions EP. The title track is a 2step tech stormer on his own Super label that turned my pants brown, but check those warm chords in His Counting House or the out-and-out house snap of Horse Flesh. Suddenly, I feel Raffertie has "arrived" in that really pretentious way some people say "arrived".

Meanwhile, The Black Dog's latest offering is Subject To Delays. That's not an announcement for tardiness, but rather the name of their latest EP in their Music For Real Airports project which features rolling house and drifting ambience in equal measure.

Picture: modified from a Universo Frusciante snap.

It's just the sun rising (and being a bit too hot)

The recent heat has done something funny to me. It felt like a hot spoon scooping out my brain. It left me feeling like a cartoon character that's just been exploded by TNT, leaving only a pair of smoking boots.

The other day in Manchester, my home city, it was 900 degrees. Or something like that: I was too cooked to focus on the numbers. I went for a walk and the sun was so unbearable, I had to dive into the shade. Everyone looks suspicious diving suddenly behind a hedge. I got looks.

It was hotter than a quartermaster's whelk. It was hotter than a jelly salesman's foghorn. It was hotter than a rampant barrister's whittling knife. It was hotter than a dog-whisperer's door handle cabinet. It was hotter than a confectioner's wardrobe on a Hungarian spaceship. It was hotter than a cheese bridge for dogs over a trench full of grandfather clocks. It was hotter than the year 1437 mauled in a bear trap by Robot Phillip Schofield.

Those hotter-than comparisons were swiped from my previous tweets, by the way. I'd like to thank past-tweeting me for being an imaginative and nonsensical idiot.

I think the sun is great, and even though horoscopes are hogwash, I do feel a connection with my star sign Leo. It's a fire sign that's ruled by the sun, which sounds really summery even though I have no idea what that means.

I'm also quite fond of sun songs. For example, Orbital's The Girl With The Sun In Her Head, Caribou's Sun or The Beloved's The Sun Rising. They're so much better than, say, Engelbert Humperdinck's Winter World Of Love, the Glee Cast's version of Ice Ice Baby, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers' Snow (Hey Oh). Is that last one real? Yeesh.

The problem is that I'm not very good with heat. I'd like all the benefits of summer weather but without the high temperatures. It would be nice if the sun was cold and fire felt like ice pops. All the colour and brightness without the sweat. That's not too much to ask, is it?

I'm grateful rave culture based itself around Ibiza and not Nunavut, but there's a balance to be struck. Next time we have a heatwave, please let's have a cold one. Thanks.

Listen to these June 2020 electronic music albums if you want to save your knees

Here are some albums out this month, June 2020, and let me warn you: if you don't give these a listen, I'm coming round there and painting sad faces on your knees, so next time you're out skateboarding in your Bart Simpson shorts, everyone will see you and feel depressed.

Let's start with a man who loves acid so much, his name would be an anagram of "I love acid" if he had different letters. Luke Vibert (pictured) has announced a trilogy, like Lord Of The Rings, The Matrix and the Police Academy films when there were only three of them.

The albums are intended to be a PTSD-style flashback to the golden years of electronic music. Last month, Luke Vibert Presents Amen Andrews took us into the old-school jungle, and next month's Rave Hop will be packed to the brim with breakbeat. June's offering is Modern Rave, which is centred around... *checks notes* ...rave. Obviously.

I mentioned jungle just then. This reminded me of a crazy Twitter moment a few months ago when I referred to an Orbital track as "lightly junglist". "That’s not jungle though," tweeted a random stranger. No, it's not jungle mate. It's "lightly junglist", in the same way a "lightly drizzled" cake doesn't mean the cake is drizzle.

This stranger insisted that instead of posting tracks that are lightly sprinkled with a jungle vibe, I should post actual jungle tracks, or as he put it, the "choonage to represent the scene and industry, otherwise it’s an insult in certain circles". He then called me a moron who was single-handedly bringing the music industry to its needs. Reader, I blocked him.

Let's have some drum 'n' bass, which is a bit like jungle but isn't jungle. I loved Goldie collaborator J Majik's last album Full Circle. It was his first album for 20 years and it was a cracker. Look out for his new album Always Be, which should serve as a great companion to Full Circle, like double-yolked eggs or Jedward brothers.

And then there's Trickfinger's She Smiles Because She Presses The Button, which is a new album of solo electronics from John Frusciante. John who? He's the bloke from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, statistically the band most listened to by white boys with dreadlocks. The 'Peppers are as dull as spending an afternoon watching cricket with a Tory, but Frusciante has IDM credentials, so it's worth a listen. Remember when he worked with Venetian Snares?

There's also Shaw & Grosfeldt's Klavier, which is Simian Mobile Disco's Jas Shaw faffing around with a sensor-fitted Disklavier piano. And there's a new album of bassy electronics from Budapest sound artist Gábor Lázár: Source is a follow-up to 2018’s excellent Unfold.

Finally, there's some proper industrial helt going on with Helena Hauff's Kern Vol.5, a various artists mix for Tresor’s Kern series, including some exclusively unreleased tracks. The whole thing is lightly junglist. I mean, it's not: that's an inaccurate description, but I just want to annoy the choonage moron randomer.

Further Fats: Bleep Years day nineteen: LTJ Bukem's Horizons (1995) (posted in 2012)

Further Fats: A tribute to Andrew Weatherall: imagine a cake, a simple cake (2020)

Get ready for Fat Roland's top 20 magical dreams

Instead of raving all night, sometimes I like to go to bed. And when I go to bed, I like to fall asleep and dream.

Shakespeare said "to sleep, perchance to dream", and I think he was waffling about death, but whatever the ruffed berk was on about, he clearly found dreams fascinating. And so do I. Especially when the dream stays in my memory in the first moments of the day; a lingering afterglow of imagined nonsense.

If I find a dream particularly memorable, I tend to post about it on Twitter. So I did some homework. I trawled through my entire Twitter history to find all of my tweets about my dreams. 

So, a special treat for psychologists everywhere, and perhaps as a tribute to 808 State's excellent 1989 track Magical Dream, here is...

Fat Roland's top 20 magical dreams

A list of my dreams as posted on Twitter over the past 11 years, in no particular order. This is all genuine. Brace yourself. 

1. The record collection

Last night, I dreamt I was showing someone my record collection - but the only record I had was I'd Rather Jack by The Reynolds Girls (pictured above).

2. Fridge problems

Last night I dreamt Robert Plant sneaked into my fridge and did a poo in my Yopp.

3. On the bus

Dreamt I met Debbie McGee on the 142 bus. She was very nice despite being overburdened with shopping.

4. The classic album

Last night, I dreamt I had a listening party with all of my friends so we could reappraise the "game-changing Manic Street Preachers album with all the Red Hot Chili Peppers songs on".

5. The brush off

Last night, I dreamt that every time I used a broom, I chucked it away. I had a bin full of brooms.

6. Career choice

Last night, I dreamed I became a hairdresser by mistake.

7. At the club 

Last night I dreamt I was at a club night. Every so often, Grace Jones would patrol the room to check no-one was smoking. 

8. At the memorial

Last night's dream: I got asked by my local pub to say a few words at a George Formby memorial event. I said yeah fine, I know all about him, I'll not prepare, I'll just wing it. As I walk into the stage, I realise I know nothing about Formby: I was thinking of Bobby Ball.

9. Waking nightmare

Last night I had a nightmare in which I dreamt Mumford & Sons was a real thing and then I woke up and it was true.

10. The race

Dreamt I was racing spiders. (I won.)

11. Definitely my ego

Last night I dreamed I was giving motivational leadership speeches in a car wreckage yard whose electronics were powered by a Nook E-reader.

12. At the pub

Last night I dreamt I went to the pub for a meal. Covid made it way too stressful. Don't touch that, don't queue there, don't lick that, don't stick that in there. Also, @jpmdaly was having a pint with Lou Reed, which just made everything worse.

13. Phone levels

Last night I dreamed my phone battery was at 25% but when I woke up it was at 46% not 25%. 

14. In Edinburgh

Just awoken from a dream in which every Edinburgh pedestrian was dressed as an egg. Big oval costumes with leg holes, but no arm holes or eye holes. Chaos.

15. Someone else's record collection

Had a dream that I was DJing, but I forgot all my records. I had to use @fullofpenguins' vinyl instead but all he had was 30 copies of Female Of The Species by Space.

16. Possibly satire

All I dreamt about last night were zombie bankers molesting me with their elephant trunks.

17. On Christmas Eve

Was intending to be a good boy and go to midnight communion, but fell asleep and dreamt of breakcore instead.

18. A bit dark

Last night I dreamt horses were on fire. I asked an elderly couple if I could borrow their duvet cover to smother the flames. They refused.

19. The grime MC

Last night, I dreamt that Jme released a new single, but it was underneath a pavement and as a result a bunch of Dutch people lost an election inside an ice cream van.

20. All too real

Dreamt last night that my blog got deleted and that the entire world banking system collapsed causing poverty everywhere. My blog. My blog!

Further Fats: Every Guardian music 'crepuscular' reference since the start of 2010, probably (2013)

Further Fats: Ten slices of shallow-fried Twitter whimsy (2020)