I have spent an entire week drinking my face off.
The glugging began in earnest at my birthday celebrations last Friday. My problem is once I start celebrating I don't stop. Even if I go to someone else's birthday drinks, it's still me toasting me.
I seriously considered necking some cleaning solution yesterday. The label said 'degreaser concentrate', and the liquid was the brightest green you've ever seen. Like the nuclear rod in the Simpsons opening titles.
The theory went thusly: it might make me a little queasy, but it would wash away all the excess alcohol that has built up in my system, so providing an overall positive effect.
The only downside would be washing away my intestine and most of my stomach too. But seriously, who needs their intestine? I can't remember the last time I thought about mine.
On the up side, I finally own a CD copy of Chosen Lords, AFX's compilation of his Analord 12"s from a few years ago.
Buying a CD makes me feel a little old fashioned, so it's appropriate that Chosen Lords sounds a little dated. Like Steven Spielberg's War Of The Worlds, it feels like his greatest signature pieces plonked coldly in one place.
But that's good enough for my detergent-dripping ears. And yes, it sounds even wickeder when you're drunk.