Apr 27, 2009

Seven shades of armageddon: the radio marathon continues

I am nearing the end of my marathon run of radio programmes, so normal blog service will resume soon.

I am 75% of the way through a month of consecutive weeknight radio shows (called the Theatre Of Noise) and I have learnt some valuable lessons from the features we have produced so far.

Firstly, as a rule, the cheaper the quiche, the more weight it can take. Aldi's cheese and chive quiche can take the weight of several potatoes, while Sainsbury's distinctly snooty salmon and watercress quiche collapses under the weight of thin air.

Secondly, attacking a folk CD with a lawnmower is much more destructive than you imagine. You'd think it would just chafe under the blades, but instead the plastic explodes into seven shades of armageddon.

Finally, deep fried Creme Egg is sickly beyond anything the human tongue can cope with, but it's much more alluring than a Tunnock's tea cake and celery toasted sandwich. That feels like your taste buds are being raped by a randy gorilla made of nettles with nipples of dung.

All of these are serious lessons in radio, the likes of which the Today programme are learning every day. As I said, normal service will return, just as soon as I've figured out what 'normal' is again.

No comments: