Edit: To see how well I did since writing this post, see the results here.
With the Manchester Blog Awards nearly upon us (you can still vote for me here until the end of Tuesday), it's time to look at my opposition in more detail.
The following blogs have been shortlisted, along with me, in the Best Writing On A Blog category. Let's see if they have what it takes to win the prestigious prize (to be awarded on Wednesday night).
Specimen one: 330 Words
On the positive side, this is a collaborative blog where people submit very short stories inspired by a picture. This ensures they have a wide reach and probably carry a lot of respect because of that. I must write something for them, if only to get reflected glory.
330 Words have a search function on their site. So I thought I would test their mettle by firing in some fairly obvious phrases. 'Aphex Twin' revealed no results, as did 'Venetian Snares'. However, a simpler search for the word 'banana' (pictured) returned two hits. Nothing for 'sausage', though. I will leave you to draw your own conclusions.
Specimen two: The Pigeon Post
This is a music blog. You know what one of those is because you're reading one right now, although Mr Pigeon does a better job of it by posting audio and writing about music. It is, in other words, a proper music blog and it's made right here in Manchester.
The writing on 'Post covers nagging doubts at gigs, fruitless searches for new music, and railing against clichés in music blogs. On the negative side, he too has a search box and a scan for 'James Blunt hanging limply from the remains of his own broken career' returned precisely zero results.
Specimen three: Ribbons And Leaves
This blog is a-- oh wait, he's got a Manchester Blog Awards logo at the top of his blog and a link-through to the voting page. Why haven't I done that? Back in a moment...
Right then, I've done the same on my blog. Anyway, Mr Leaves types his blog posts on a 1960s German typewriter then scans them onto the page. It sounds exhausting, but the results are stunning. When I'm on his blog and I smash the side of my computer screen with the flat of my right hand, it doesn't go ding. This needs to be rectified. Ding.
Specimen four: Who The Fudge Is Benjamin Judge?
I nominated this blog in two categories and it ended up getting shortlisted in both of them. Here we have a personal blog that has an imaginative edge, such as a list of things to do this decade that includes "live like a Moomin for a while".
He spends his time calling me a North Korea sympathiser stroke planet killer, which only leads me to scream out very much in the style of Matthew Bionic's query on Judge's sister blog Ask Ben And Clare. When I change my name to Kim Jong Roland, I'm going to nuke his blog.
So there are the fellow shortlistees. It's amazing to be in the same category as the blogs above. There are other categories in the Blog Awards too, but I don't want this post to go on forever so I must leave it there.
If you're going on Wednesday (anyone is welcome), you'll spot me being confused and drunk in the corner. I have no idea what happens at these things, whether I get to read anything at the front, or how many fist fights there will be.
See you after the Awards, dearest reader.