What I watched, what I heard and what I thought in 2008

When the snow lay round about, bleep and Christmas Spectrum

Farting, belching, bleeping buckets of steaming sub-bass

Brass band players, coming over here, taking over our dancefloors

Fake plastic CDs and eating too much cheese before writing a blog post

Rare as a green-- oh, look, there's one now

Orbital come back around. Well, it seems logical, doesn't it?

Oramics is like television, only backwards

Six wheels on my digeridoo

Swimming with the sharks in the (Basic) Channel

Badger badger badger set

Time again for mulleted monkey-man Guru Josh

Just one creamy falsetto (warning: contains nauseating levels of false modesty)

Exploding wheelchairs: how to explain Squarepusher to normal people

A good week for old LPs - and if you say 'what's an LP', I'll set fire to your mp3 player

Max Tundra does Prince while, by the look of the picture wot I edited in Microsoft Publisher, the Von Trapps do LSD

"Vincent Gray. I do remember you. Quiet, very smart, compassionate. Unusually compassionate." "You forgot cursed. YOU FAILED ME!" Bang.*

The fourth and fifth elements of thud

Live blog: Elbow nudge ahead for Mercury Music Prize win - my cat is disappointed

"No. No. You've still lost me. Could you rewrite it with just the facts and about 50% less nonsense?"

The sound of elephants falling on xylophones

M Ax Noi Mach will soon be supporting The Feeling, no doubt about it

Gardener's fingernails, tubed Somerville, and James at war

At about this age, you get cake flushes

Eight oh eight oh eight oh eight oh eight oh eight oh eight oh eight oh eight

Warp Records present the BBC Radiophonic Workshop?

Tim & Daisy make Jay & Bob look like ****ing Bert & Ernie

Wait, westerly wanderer, there's a big carrot-y creature in your way

Pathetic, turgid and very unKylie - number two of a descending series of five

It's not a pie chart but I called it a Bri Chart because that was the only pun I could think of

The gimp's guide to mind music

Thrusting little pointy blighters - number one of a descending series of five

Seams burns tunes and Blood Looms and Blooms looms in June

Ever decreasing memories of lifted bosoms and a DJ Shadow dump

A hundred blinking goths, Jabba goes J-Ho, and sodden notes drying on radiators

Confusion in our eyes that says it all - we've lost Control (well, almost)

Speed-freak pilots, equine storm joy and Lord Dan of Deacon's new video mayhem

What's that coming over the hill, apart from a lyrical cliché? Clue: not a monster

Glastonbury's got 99 bands, and Jay Z should be one of them

Shorts and a little helicopter hat - they're this season's essential radio accessory

Oh to be torn up by wolves and fed, bit by bit, through an old lawnmower

Smokin' tracks and molten nonsense: Theatre Of Noise and F1 Losers are go

God sent Jesus Christ but the techno gods sent a single solitary extra black dot

"I am the trigger for your gun" suggests a relationship that isn't exactly balanced*

If you ask me, people on the internet should talk about the internet more

They did it with compost, you know